âWhat do you want to be when you grow up?â This question haunted me my entire life. I had no clue what I wanted to do until I took my first journalism class in high school. I immediately fell in love with storytelling, editing, writingâthe whole shebang. So, when I started looking for colleges, Mizzou was my number one choice. One problem: it was in a completely different state. I would be 600 miles away from home in a completely new place, but when I toured the campus, it felt like home. So, I took the leapâ600 miles away from home. Hereâs what I wish someone had told me before I moved out of state for college.
The goodbyes hit you at random times
You expect to miss home at first, but what you donât expect is looking for the comforts of home halfway through October. Homesickness sneaks up on you when you least expect it. For me, it was when I was out with a friend thinking about what my sister would have ordered or when I was shopping and saw something that reminded me of my mom. What helped me get through it was making time to call my loved ones throughout the week, bringing little mementos that reminded me of home and creating a new community in my college town. Moving is hard but dwelling on what youâre missing at home makes it harder to enjoy the opportunities that come with a new place.
You donât realize how much effort it takes to maintain friendships
Staying close to hometown friends gets harder when you move away. They live their lives and you live yours in a whole new place. Some friendships will fade, but thatâs okay and normal. Long-distance friendships require intentional check-ins, FaceTimes and visits when you come home. How I stay connected is by texting my best friend from home whenever I have something big happen, writing letters a few times a month (this is such a fun tradition) and carving out time together when we come home. If it matters to you and the other person to maintain the friendship, the effort will always be worth it.
Coming home for breaks feels weird
When I came home from break, everything felt different and the same somehow. I had changed so much but my hometown bedroom hadnât. It was a mosaic of my childhood and the person I used to be. It made me a little uncomfortable. I also didnât have access to the conveniences I had grown accustomed to in college. I was cooking all the time and couldnât just walk everywhere I wanted to go. I also was oddly aware of where I was and if I was going to see anyone I knew. I loved getting to see everyone but the world I once knew was completely foreign to me. I weirdly craved going back to my dorm and sleeping in my little twin XL.
The little hometown conveniences? Youâll miss them.
Whether it was the gym I went to every day or my favorite smoothie I drank every day, I missed things I didnât expect. Even though I had this giant rec center to work out in, I missed my little gym that was empty when I went. I missed my morning fruit smoothie that I blended up after a workout. I even missed my flute, which I vowed I would never play again. All these little things that I never thought about or genuinely despised started to cross my mind about halfway through the semester. When I went home for Thanksgiving, I grabbed my flute and the protein powder I put in my smoothie. I went to all my hometown doctors and visited the grocery stores that are objectively better than the ones in my college town.
Your relationship with your parents changes when you go to collegeâsometimes for the better
When I moved away, I thought that I would go weeks without calling my momâwrong. I call my mom every single day, whether she wants to talk to me or not. My relationship with my parents became so much more casual and even improved. Sometimes, a little distance makes you realize how much you love them and makes coming home just a little bit sweeter. Whether itâs my dad texting to check up on me or just a short call with my mom, I treasure the time I get to talk to my parents in ways that I never did while living at home.
No one prepares you for the logistics of living far away
Flights home are expensive. Figuring out what to do with your stuff over the summer is a pain. Coordinating holiday plans and moving in/moving out logistics are way harder when your home isnât just a short drive away. To get back to my hometown I have to book a flight and plan out transportation at least a month in advance. My family has a life of their own and my spring break doesnât line up with my siblingsâ. Unfortunately, Iâm not going home for spring break because of all the complications.
Youâll develop a new definition of âhomeâ
Eventually, college starts to feel like home, too. Youâll build new routines, find your favorite spots and form friendships that feel like family. Home becomes less about a place and more about the people and experiences that make you feel safe and happy. Some of my most cherished moments are times when I helped friends decorate their dorms, explored downtown or just laughed uncontrollably in our dorm rooms. Home really is where the heart is.
Get ready to grow, like a lot
College already changes you so much but moving out of state takes that growth to another level. Navigating a new place, meeting new people and handling unfamiliar situations shape you in ways you never expect. My experience has taught me discipline, time management and so much about myself that I didnât know before. Looking back on my first semester, I see all the pivotal moments and lessons that shaped me. Some were tough but every challenge played a role in making me who I am todayâand for that, Iâm grateful. Give Yourself Grace
Adjustment takes time. Some days will be harder than others and thatâs OK. Feeling homesick doesnât mean youâre not meant to be at your schoolâit just means youâre human. Be patient with yourself and know that eventually, this place will start to feel like home too. The days that feel the hardest are the ones that shape you the most. One day youâll look around and realize this new place isnât just where you go to schoolâitâs home, too.