Before I left for college, I never thought that I’d say that I missed my brother. My brother, Drew, is a 26-year-old human teddy bear who’s annoying, obnoxious and sometimes a major pain. But he’s also the most loving, care-free, enthusiastic and genuine person I know. Drew has Down’s Syndrome, and he lives his life focused on what he can do, not what he can’t. Every day with Drew brings new challenges and excitement. As siblings, of course we’ve had our ups and downs, but since I’ve been away, I’ve reflected on how many lessons my big brother has taught me without even trying.
Each day is a new day.
One night, Drew and I got into a huge fight. We screamed at each other for a while, then went to our separate bedrooms and slammed our doors to emphasize our anger. I went upstairs for breakfast the next morning still upset, prepared to shoot him icy looks all day, but when he walked into the kitchen, it seemed as though nothing was wrong. He just said, “Good morning, Nat. I love you,” and gave me one of his signature bone-crushing hugs and a noogie to top it off. He didn’t forget about our fight, but he chose to begin the day on a better note, forgiving both of us for the mistakes we’d made. Drew never holds grudges and has no hidden agenda; when he says you’re forgiven, you’re absolutely forgiven and that’s that. He begins each day with a clean slate.
The importance of patience and slowing down
Drew’s speech is sometimes hard to understand, so it’s easy for us to get frustrated sometimes, even when he’s really trying to get something across to us. He has taught me to be patient and slow down my brain. The world is so fast-paced, it’s important to actually listen to what is going on around us and be thoughtful.
Have an open heart.
If you were to meet my brother, the chances of falling in love with him are pretty high. His love for everyone is so infectious it’s impossible to ignore; he’ll greet you with a massive hug and a kiss on the cheek. With Drew, you always know you’re loved and wanted and valued. Drew has taught me to love more and to love wholeheartedly without hesitations; sure, sometimes his hugs are painful from how tight they are, but hey, who says that’s a bad thing?
Being yourself is the only way to be.
If I had to describe my brother in one word, it’d be “original.” This guy is not afraid to be completely himself, all the time. His favorite outfit is an open-buttoned Hawaiian shirt with basketball shorts and slippers. He thinks that adding a leather jacket to his wardrobe makes him infinitely cooler. His favorite place in the world is, and will forever be, Disney World. He’s unapologetically himself and he teaches me every day that it’s okay for me to be myself, too.
Be grateful.
Drew faces a lot of hardship on a day-to-day basis because of his disability. He’s cognitively delayed, has limited freedom and has to eat gluten-free. Though he has a lot going against him, he says “thank you” more than anyone I’ve ever met. One time, I burned a pizza for his lunch so badly that anyone else would have just thrown it in the garbage. Drew didn’t even comment on the fact that it was burnt to a crisp, he just ate it happily and thanked me over and over for making it for him. He makes sure that his appreciation is shown for every little thing that’s done for him.
Use your imagination.
Two years ago, all Drew wanted for his birthday was scrap metal that he could use to make a spaceship. Drew’s convinced that the ghosts of our ancestors live in the basement of our house and tell him what to do. He’s sure there’s a portal to an alternate universe in his bedroom. He has the most creative, most active imagination in the world, which is why he’s always surprising me and making me laugh.
Don’t be afraid to shine.
Drew is anything but subtle. He’s loud, rambunctious and a spotlight-hog. He loves attention and shines his light to everyone he sees. He’s never afraid to show off his breakdancing skills or to proclaim his newest idea loudly to everyone around. It’s too often that I hide myself away and diminish myself; Drew teaches me that it’s okay to admit how exceptionally awesome I am.
Drew may have some disabilities, but his abilities far outshine the things he can’t do. He’s a great role model who teaches everyone he knows how to be more loving, kind, patient and exciting.