I listened to something recently that made me pause and reflect on how I’ve been measuring my life lately.
It made me realize that much of the pressure I feel at university isn’t actually about where I am. It’s about where I think I should be.
Sometimes it may seem like others have everything figured out: internships, relationships, or balancing grades and social life. Even if no one says it, it leaves you quietly asking, “why don’t I have that yet?”
I’ve realized this feeling ties to the “social clock,” an invisible timeline of when to hit milestones. We measure our lives against it without questioning its source, and feel behind when we don’t match it.
But what shifted my perspective is understanding that the feeling behind it isn’t really about time: it’s about control. When life doesn’t look as we expected, it can feel like things are slipping away. Like everyone else, we’re moving forward, and we’re stuck. But instead of trying to “catch up,” I’m learning that it’s more important to focus on what I can control: my choices, my effort, and the direction I’m moving in right now.
Something else I’ve been sitting with is the idea that not knowing what you’re doing, especially in university. It isn’t failure, it’s exploration. I’ve definitely had moments where I questioned my path or felt unsure about what I wanted next. But maybe that’s the point. This stage of life isn’t meant for certainty. It’s meant for trying, changing, and figuring things out as you go.
We often tie purpose to a future job or title, but purpose is bigger than that. It’s in how we treat people, what we care about, and the impact we want to have. You don’t need your future mapped out to live with purpose.
We also put a lot of pressure on ourselves to thrive in every area at once, but growth rarely works that way. Some seasons are for building, others for questioning, and sometimes just for getting through. Not every part of life moves forward at the same time, and that’s okay.
The people around us matter more than we might realize, too. Being surrounded by those who genuinely support us, rather than make us feel like we’re competing, can quietly shift how we see our own progress. It’s a reminder that most of us are navigating the same uncertainties.
I’m also starting to notice that the moments I feel most stuck often come right before something shifts. Growth doesn’t always look like forward motion, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
So being “on time” may not mean matching others; it means trusting your pace, even when it’s unique. Growth isn’t a race. It’s about letting yourself change direction and taking the time you need.
I’m still figuring things out, and honestly, I think most of us are.
But maybe we’re not behind.
Maybe we’re just becoming.