Spending a lot of time at home alone in your room lately? Same. In all the ways this pandemic has shaped our lives, the most poignant change has been how much alone time I have on my hands these days – and being alone with our thoughts can sometimes be a dangerous place to be. Negative self-talk can creep its way into our daily thoughts and routines, but it doesn’t have to be this way! You can train your mind, with a little love and dedication, to ward off the bully in your brain. Read about how I started implementing daily affirmations into my life and how it’s made my 2021 so much better!
At the beginning of 2021, I resolved to kick 2020 to the curb as hard as I could by making some small but impactful lifestyle changes. I wanted to do things that my mind and body would thank me for by the end of the year. I wanted to stick to something good and see it through. I started to recite daily affirmations every morning. After breakfast, when I would go to my desk and sit in front of my laptop, ready to start the day, I would take a pause. I would rest my notebook in front of me and open it to the page that held my bank of daily affirmations. Before reciting them, I would close my eyes and take a few deep “box” breaths. Then I would slowly recite each phrase out loud as if talking to a dear friend. “I am not my success or my failure,” “I am allowed to live joyfully,” “I exchange my shame and anger for self-love and self-compassion.” I would give space to each phrase, noticing how it felt rolling off my tongue and dancing on my lips, and only move on to the next phrase when I felt confident in my conviction.
There are some days when I really wasn’t feeling it. Some days the words just didn’t ring true and I couldn’t bring myself to believe them – and that is OK! Everyday won’t be filled with sunshine and rainbows. On days when I felt less confident, I would choose to recite specific affirmations like “I will hold space for all of my feelings,” “My feelings matter,” “I am allowed to experience both grief and joy all at once.” Just as you would give your best friend different words of encouragement and solace depending on how they are feeling, you must give that same support to yourself. Listen to what your mind and heart need to hear each day and speak those loving words to yourself.
The habit of reciting daily affirmations can turn into a dangerous game of “fake-it-til-you-make-it” if you lose the intention and meaning behind your words. If the words you’re saying are merely words, then you won’t experience the benefits of this activity. They have to mean something to you, personally. They have to move you and motivate you. Sometimes you’ll find some phrases are easier to believe than others. For me, telling myself, “I let go of things I cannot control,” was such a difficult phrase to carry out with confidence. Part of me will always want to fight to gain control of how my day will play out, but that’s why I need the reminder that I can let go of what I can’t control. Being aware of my weaknesses helps me work to chip away at them each day. There are so many inner struggles that we grapple with that can slowly be coaxed with daily affirmations. Wherever your struggles may be rooted, whether it be body image, trauma, doubt, depression, anxiety, loneliness, hurt — a few words of self-compassion can be the seeds you need to grow. It simply involves the daily choice to continue rooting for yourself.
Verbal affirmations are just one of the many ways to love yourself, but it’s a good place to start! If you are looking for a place to start, here is a list of all of the daily affirmations I have been reciting these past few months. You can recite these phrases in literally any place, so choose wherever feels most comfortable to you — in front of a mirror, at your desk, in your favourite chair, outside in nature, in bed, in the car, in the shower/bath, or in the kitchen! I hope this article reminds you to be kind to yourself. You are a gift! You deserve validation from yourself, and it’s up to you and you alone to provide it. Nothing changes if nothing changes, so choose to make a small change today and start! Just start.