TW: Sensitive content pertaining to mental health, panic attacks and illnesses are discussed in the following article. The content articulated below may be triggering for certain individuals.
I’m comfortable with sharing that like many people in this world, I struggle with my mental health and have faced significant challenges over the years. Personally, one of the worst feelings for me is having a panic attack and not knowing how to help myself get out of that state. I had my first serious panic attack in front of one of my high school teachers after bottling up my feelings to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore – I simply exploded. I wish I could say that this was the last time I had a breakdown in public, but that would be far from the truth. I’m fortunate to have a strong support system and additional resources to help me get through some difficult times. I realize that not everyone is in the same position as I am, so I want to help you help support your loved ones in times of need. Before continuing forward with this article, it’s important that I reiterate that I’m not a trained professional, nor an expert on mental health and illnesses. The tips stated below are my personal suggestions and what has worked for me in the past.
- Listen
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It’s okay to not always understand, but you want to be cognizant that you don’t belittle someone’s problems. You might not always agree with them or understand what they’re feeling, but it’s important to show that you’re open to learning about what they’re going through. Don’t assume anything, but rather be their listening ear. If you’re not quite sure how to go about this, consider joining a support group to gain perspective and connect with individuals in a similar position as you.
- Be patient
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It’s important to be patient and non-judgmental. Mental health isn’t visible and it might be difficult for who you’re trying to help to accept it. Don’t be offended if your efforts to help are shot down. Continue to remind them that you’re always there for them and that your relationship remains unchanged. Every individual is different, and their needs will vary – what you think they need may not be what they actually need or want.
- Realize your role and understand that you are not a trained professional
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It’s not your job to diagnose or assume how your loved one is feeling. You’re not a counsellor, doctor, therapist or any other trained professional to make any assumptions or conclusions. Instead, keep an open mind and maintain neutral language. Rather than saying, “I’m sure you must feel sad,” try asking “How do you feel?”
- Remind them that they matter
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They matter to you, they matter to me, they matter. Your loved ones may be feeling hopeless and at an all-time low, and it is at this time when you should be there for them as much as possible. You can’t prevent a crisis from happening, but you can be there for them to support them through it all or encourage them to seek out help. Be there, listen and check up on them. It may also feel overwhelming to be in this position, so remember to check in with yourself as well.
I also wanted to acknowledge some of the services available at McMaster University. The McMaster Student Wellness Centre (SWC) provides a variety of counselling, medical service and wellness programs to attain to your personal needs as well as connect you to additional resources. They have a variety of programs, such as support groups, sessions about health and wellbeing, and drop-in sessions. The SWC also provides resources ranging from non-urgent care to serious crisis support. You are able to access helplines and services as well as urgent counselling sessions. McMaster Student Affairs have also outlined the Student Mental Health & Well-Being Strategy which aims to create an inclusive, educational and supportive environment for students. They prioritize distressed students and outline various services and mechanisms provided on campus to ensure our safety and wellbeing. Real Campus is a great external resource for counselling and therapy, providing all McMaster students 6 free sessions!
One thing that I have learned on this emotional and overwhelming journey is to take it day-by-day. We won’t always have good days, but it’s important to not let our bad days overshadow all else in our lives. Remember to check-in with yourself, realize when it’s time to seek help, and remind someone dear to you how important they are. What seems small to you may be life changing for someone else!
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