In the storm that is 2020, wellness has been brought to the forefront of our minds and it’s been a long time coming. Now more than ever, health is being recognized beyond just physical security, but as encompassing our mental, emotional, spiritual, and social wellbeing. That begs the question: How can we become better ‘wellness nurses’ for one another?
Good news! In every person’s pocket is a powerful tool that doesn’t cost a dime: the check-in.
You may already be familiar with the idea of a check-in or have had an unbeknownst encounter with one before. Something along the lines of, “I know you’ve been struggling lately, and I just wanted to check in with you. How are you doing?” You get the idea! Simply put, check-ins are a way to ask about each other’s personal wellness and say, “I’m here for you”. It may lead to a deeper conversation, diving into possible mental health struggles and personal matters, but this is not always the case and that’s completely okay. The important piece here is showing that your door is open. Whether your friend chooses to accept the invitation and step through is completely up to them.
Check-ins are a crucial tool to stay connected and ‘well’ (in all respects of the word) during this pandemic. As many of us have suddenly found ourselves navigating long-distance friendships, I implore you to practice using your ‘check-in tool’, all while abiding by COVID-19 distancing rules, of course. In the age of social distancing, here are 5 ways to check in with your loved ones:
- Reposting or sharing wellness posts
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Checking in doesn’t always have to happen one-on-one. The next time you see an uplifting self-care Instagram graphic, try sharing it to your Story. Maybe you’ve come across a destigmatizing article about mental health that’s shareable on a social media platform. Checking in is all about promoting wellness and you never know the impact a quick click could have on someone in need of a pick-me-up. And who knows? Sharing your wellness advocacy attitude to social media could inspire your followers to check in with themselves or even with you!
For some inspiration and positivity, here are some of my favourite wellness/mental health advocacy Instagram accounts:
- Virtual study dates
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Whether it’s through Zoom, Facebook Messenger, or anything of the sort, arranging virtual study dates is a sure-fire way to spend ‘face-time’ with your friends. Block out a period of time to be productive together and get down to business. You could even make it a weekly appointment to study together! These virtual study dates are a space to be in each other’s company regularly and stay in-the-loop with your friend’s life. There may not always be a ton of chitchat, but the option to talk about any highs and lows remains open and you know that your study date has your back.
- Drop-offs
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The art of the ‘drop-off’ or ‘drive-by’ has been perfected in adherence to safe distancing practices. Do you miss seeing your friends sans electronic barriers? Try arranging a trip to visit their house (just from the outside) and maybe even plan a surprise “I miss you” gift: a favourite snack, self-care kit, baked goods, or anything they’d appreciate! Top it off with a thoughtful note expressing how much you care about them and a reminder to reach out if they ever need a listening ear. Remember to sanitize, pop on a face mask, and go! Just drop off their care package at the doorstep or driveway, hop back in your car and await their reaction — I promise you’ll be glad you did it.
- Text message/SMS
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Nothing beats a classic text message to check in with someone. Free of phone anxiety, the unique ability to edit your thoughts means many folks find it easier to open up through text. Yes, it can be daunting to compose and send that first message, but we have your back! Here are a couple examples that might help formulate that first check-in text:
“Hey, you crossed my mind today and I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing”
“Hi! It’s been a while and I want to catch up!”
“Hey, we haven’t chatted in a bit – how are you doing these days?”
“Just checking in to see if everything’s okay!”
“This made me think of you! I hope everything’s okay with you and if you ever want to talk, I’m here!”
- Phone call
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With the invention of SMS, spontaneous phone calls are few and far between, but nothing feels more special than catching up with a friend in real-time. It’s understandable that folks may feel awkward starting a phone call on a serious note, so don’t feel like you have to! Start the conversation casually, a quick catch-up, and if comfortable you can transition into a serious check-in on their wellbeing. If ever at a loss for words, here are some short and sweet ones:
“I also called just to check in and see how you’ve been feeling about everything.”
“How are you doing, really?”
“By the way, you can talk to me about anything.”
“Is everything okay with you? It’s okay to not be – I’m here for you.”
Just a reminder: You never know what someone is going through. Just because it doesn’t show on the outside, it doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t need a check-in from time to time.
On a last important note, always check in with yourself before checking in with anyone else. Prioritize your own wellness and know that it’s okay to take time for yourself to recharge before looking after others.
Now all of you ‘wellness nurses’ are ready and equipped to take on the socially-distanced world – take charge and go!