Our whole lives, we are told that college is when we will finally know what it is like to truly be on our own. We are told that the day we move into a tiny dorm room with a girl we barely know is the first day of the rest of our lives. We are given multiple freedoms and are finally supposed to truly see what it means to be independent. But how true is that exactly?
During my senior year of high school I felt like I was on top of the world with confidence. I had decided on where I would be going to college already, yet in my mind, college was still a million years away. Move in day came sooner than I wanted. When I entered college, that confidence and self-assurance that I had felt a few months prior completely plummeted. My feelings of confidence were replaced with those of timidness and self-doubt.
As a sophomore, I am finally starting to regain the confidence that I experienced my senior year of high school. Some girls may be able relate to my experience, yet some may have loved college from the minute they got there. Regardless of your personal experience, it is a fact when people say that college is the time you gain your independence. Below are some questions to ask yourself to see if you have truly earned the title of “Miss Independent.” Whether you can say each one of these options are you, or you cannot relate to any of them, the road to independence in college is what you make of it. This is a unique journey for each and every one of us.
1) Do you stand up for yourself?
Many reactions to this question would be, “Yes, of course I do!” But do you really? When your roommate is being disrespectful, do you confront her to resolve the issue, or do you avoid the confrontation? When your boyfriend is doing something that really gets on your nerves, do you address the issue, or put up with it in fear of losing him? These are important questions we need to ask ourselves.
2) Are you your own person?
Do you really believe in who you are and whose you are? Do you stand in the corner and let people refer to you as “_____’s roommate?” or “______’s girlfriend?” To obtain the title of Miss Independent, we need to learn to become our own person and to not have our identity be wrapped up in friendships and relationships. We each have amazing qualities and gifts that we need to share with the world without letting others overshadow them.
3) Are you a leader?
This question is probably the most crucial of the three on this list. Personally, I was always more comfortable being a follower. I would let others drag me around and be perfectly content to let others make my decisions for me. I have finally learned that I simply can’t let it happen anymore. We can’t be independent unless we break the chains that are latched onto us when we follow. We must stand strong and lead our own lives instead. The great thing about leaders is that there are different kinds. Just because you’re shy, doesn’t mean you can’t be a leader. Also, just because someone is loud and pushy, it doesn’t mean that they have the right to tell you what you can and can’t do.
I am still on the road to becoming Miss Independent. I admit that I’m not an expert on the do’s and don’ts when it comes to that confidence it takes to be independent. But I can tell you that no one else in college is an expert either. Independence does not happen overnight- it is through our experiences that we learn lessons to share with others. I encourage you ladies to think about this checklist when going about your daily lives and know in your heart that you can stand up for yourself and create your own destiny. Remember that you can be your own person and you can absolutely be “Miss Independent”.