Sometimes I look in the mirror and tell myself I am great, confident and destined to succeed. I can handle school, work and my personal life. I look great, I feel great and I know what I’m doing. Of course, that’s what I say. However, what I say and what I feel are completely different. Have you ever spent a day speaking to yourself positively? I’m confident and I’m the best. Of course, I will pass the exam. If so, know that it’s a universal experience. I walk through life lifting myself with words I don’t yet believe, acting like everything is under control. At work, they say I am always smiling, that I work hard, that I am intelligent, but my outward actions don’t always match my internal thoughts. It’s all psychological. The idea is to build an inner self through your actions first. Regulate your outward behavior so your mental state can catch up.
I’m not suggesting you be a fake person, but don’t succumb to the degrading thoughts that repeat in your head; instead, keep your back straight, walk into a room with a smile, and demand attention even when you don’t want it. I do it all the time. In the fall of 2024, my first semester in this school as a transfer student, I failed all my classes. I wasn’t in the mood to get out of bed, finish assignments, or take any exams. I set an alarm every night, and every morning I would turn it off and go back to sleep. It was a bad semester for me; I wasn’t well mentally or emotionally. Because of that bad start, the past year and a half in this school was the hardest. It’s still very hard. The voices in my head will sneak in and tell me I can’t do it or to not even try. I don’t listen and I do it anyway. I tell myself I can do it; otherwise, I will never know what I am capable of. It worked out; I got a 97 on an exam.
It goes beyond academics. For example, if you don’t feel confident in your body and hate wearing certain clothes, don’t dismiss it. Put it on anyway and have your fun. If you don’t feel it, act it. It’s all about your mindset. Don’t miss the night out with friends or the show you really want to see because you don’t feel confident. You might look back and wish you’d gone. Instead, wear it, go out, and walk like you own the world. You won’t regret it.
Let’s make an important distinction. Don’t disregard your mental health. Repressing your emotions is not the answer; feel what you need to feel, receive the comfort you need. Fake it ’till you make it. It’s about being able to succeed even when things feel like they are falling apart. I didn’t repress my emotions; I channeled them into a safe habit, like reading books and manga, watching anime, and writing. You can look like you’re getting through life with ease while also being stressed, but don’t mistake that for isolating your feelings and keeping them trapped. That will do more harm than good; it will seem like it’s going well, but it isn’t. It’s just waiting for it to explode. It will build up on top of more pain. Take a moment, breathe, look at your surroundings, slow down; we have a lot of life ahead of us; nothing is going too fast. It’s okay to not be okay. Remember, the advice is not to act like you’re okay. You can admit you’re not. It’s not to let it stop your life.