Conformity, and the urge to assimilate and be assimilated, is a kind of spiritual erosion. It is naturally adopted as our environment infringes on our desire and ability to reach our genuine essence. I posit that conformity in the form of the denial of one’s authentic, erotic self, especially, is the root of our distress, our dysfunction and our resistance to expressing love wholly. So many of us yearn for an easily definable purpose in life. Figures like Audre Lorde teach us that we ought to swim within the ocean of ourselves to find the path that will endlessly fulfill us, and yet, we tend to be a product of our socialization, where success is defined by the world around us rather than by what our soul truly craves.
Audre Lorde’s essay on “The Erotic” reframes that very phrase as something that is neither empty nor driven by thoughtless lust, but illuminates “eroticism” as unadulterated intertwinement with the spirit and feminine vitality (Lorde, 1–2). This connection to women’s innermost nature specifically has most likely been corrupted by intentional, mass systemic design via cultural and political structures that instill mistrust in their instincts (Lorde, 1). This is how the power that can be found within their potentially erotic existences is stolen from them. Women, as a subordinate group in society, are conditioned by an overwhelming culture of prejudice, informed by historically driven and still-embedded gender roles. The intricacies of the expectations placed on women fluctuate in relation to geographical location, governmental influence, religion, etc.—but one overarching ideology is accepted by many: Whether done consciously or unconsciously by others, women are thought of as inferior. I don’t know if I can fully internalize that sentiment as true. I think women are purposely indoctrinated into understanding themselves as less valuable because the power they hold is threatening to the white-male-driven structures that currently dictate the majority of the world’s societies. This brings me exactly to what Lorde asks women to gain in her essay, “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power,” which is freedom from the shackles of patriarchal desire, self-doubt, capitalist manipulations and disharmony in our communities. This freedom can only be achieved when the only thing we “assimilate” ourselves to is ourselves.
Eroticism, as a source of paramount autonomy—not objectification—and not simply a connection to our bodies, but the harnessing of our intangible selves, is where we will find our fire ignited in our lives. The question is: How do we, as women, attain “the erotic” to combat the stereotypes imposed on us through social control? It should first be acknowledged that it’s impossible to be completely removed from social conditioning, seeing as to functionally exist in the “civilized” world, you must uphold various standards (Lorde, 5). For instance, you may detest clothing and fashion because of their gendered and often problematic origins, but there will likely be legal implications if you were to show up in American society fully in the nude. Nonetheless, there are countless, less-extravagant manifestations of rebellion that can be put in practice to refute humanity’s limitations that have been forced upon marginalized groups such as women. Audre Lorde herself is a testament to the vessel for change that self-realization of power can be. As a writer and activist who tackled topics of Black womanhood and lesbian desire (while the discussion of these topics could pose significant threat to her), she maintained that both her anger and pleasure were weapons against a largely bigoted society (Lorde, 4–5). These feelings of unrest and desire she attested to as “our [women’s] most genuine path to knowledge.” We can see her mission in action through her booming presence in the Afro-German women’s movement, where she embodied her own claim that, “The fear that we cannot grow beyond whatever distortions we may find within ourselves keeps us docile and loyal” and obedient, externally defined, and leads us to accept many facets of our oppression as women (Lorde, 5). Transnational movements were sparked by Afro-descended women because Lorde was able to mobilize them through the notion that they needed to claim the erotic power in their inner authority. Otherwise, the external world would strip them of even their inner autonomy. This serves as a practical basis for what women today can do to live erotically: Maintain inner autonomy.
To sustain self-determination as women, we must adhere to what Lorde refers to as “power which rises from our deepest and nonrational knowledge” (Lorde, 1). In other words, intuitively feeling and knowing is erotic liberation in itself—this rejects assimilation to misogynist convictions. Women are not usually welcomed to be outspoken, and yet, the erotic tells us that if we feel it, we are not to deny ourselves that sensation. We are to act on it by whatever means we feel will satisfy our spirit. For some, that takes shape in straightforward political involvement (like exercising protest rights), while for others, what rings true as authentic externalization of the self can be the creation of art, engaging with purposeful dialogue in their communities, spiritual practice, or even a commitment to not letting their thoughts go unheard in spaces where ideals of the dominant group tend to overwhelm discussion. Simply (although, admittedly, not simply), identifying what exactly makes you hungry to be and acting in unison with that energy is a fulfillment of your erotic obligation to yourself. It should not go without mentioning that erotic authenticity is not equally accessible for all, however. Economic barriers, for instance, have the potential to impede us in reaching the ultimate societal progressions that we may desire, but these obstacles should not dissuade us from existing fully as complex beings with the capacity to resist injustices and stigmas in whatever inner and outward action we feel called to take.
Past and contemporary self-doubt, oppression and pervasive assimilative tactics can easily feel insurmountable, but our women should not become dismissive of the pull to the erotic that flickers somewhere inside of us all. As women, we are extensive beyond imagination, and for us to be reduced to an archetype is nothing more than a social construction based in fear of the true power, love and wisdom women innately have. We are tough and tender, internalizing and uninhibited, logical and vision-driven, sensual and brilliant, diverse and yet unified in struggle. As a marginalized group especially, we must work to remember that we do not exist for consumption. We must choose a personally valuable life over conformity to the status quo. We will flourish in unapologetic authenticity with the understanding that this is where eroticism lives and has always lived, so long as we’re brave enough to pursue our own intuition.