It is crazy to think that this is my final year at Manhattan. Eighteen-year-old me never would have expected where my life would be now. In many ways, so much has changed in my life, but in others, I am still the same —excited, curious girl trying to figure out what I want. During my freshman year, I struggled a lot with the transition to university, not so much academically, but socially. I just left home for the first time, all of my friends were still in Canada, our breaks weren’t the same, and I had to make new friends for the first time since fifth grade.
If I could tell my freshman self one thing, it would be to look for quality over quantity when making friends. At the time, I put so much pressure on myself to find that “perfect college friend group.” Growing up, I had heard my older cousins and my neighbors discuss how their best friends were people they met in college, or I would see all those TikToks of friend groups that looked inseparable. I was envious, and I so badly wanted that for myself, so I put so much pressure on myself to fit into a specific friend group, which almost always backfired. Now, I have learned to value the quality of my friendships rather than the quantity. I don’t have a specific friend group, but I do have some of the most amazing friends who will be there for me through absolutely anything.
Try to put less pressure on yourself. I met my best friend in the spring semester of my freshman year, completely by chance. I wasn’t looking for friends at the time, but now I can’t imagine my life without her. Now, as a senior, I may not have that “picture-perfect friend group,” but I have friends who bring me so much genuine joy, and I think that is almost better.
During my freshman year, I unfortunately had struggles with roommates. This was my first time cohabitating with someone and learning to set boundaries for myself. I would tell my younger self that being assertive is not rude; in fact, it is necessary. When you live with someone, it is important to discuss things like when to turn the lights off and borrowing each other’s stuff. For so long, I was so scared to stand up for myself out of fear that people would not like me afterward. But I have since learned that feeling comfortable in your space is much more important than being “well-liked.”
I would also remind myself that it’s ok to not know what you want to do yet. I came in undecided and relentlessly stressed about it; I was constantly worrying that I would be behind. Or just worried that everyone around me knew what they wanted and I was the lone one out. I didn’t declare my major until halfway through sophomore year, and now I am a senior with a double major and a minor, ahead in credits. Waiting to declare my major until I was sure was the best decision I could have ever made, and it did not put me behind the crowd at all; in fact, I am even ahead. Further, the more I go on job interviews or network with professionals, I have learned that no one really knows exactly what they want to do either. We are just learning as we go, and maybe some people are just better at pretending. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing, and in fact, I think it is during that time that you find the most growth.
I would also tell myself to be less embarrassed. We live in New York, crazy things happen every day, and I can assure you, yours are never the craziest. At a small school, it is easy to feel like everyone is watching you and waiting to talk about your most embarrassing moment, but they’re really not. I once fell out of my chair at Locke’s freshman year, and thought my life was over, but in reality, I doubt a single person in the dining hall remembers. It’s human, so really, how embarrassing is it?
As someone who has been talked about or had rumors spread, I have learned two important lessons. First, that this says so much more about the person spreading the rumor than it does about you, and second, why should you care about someone who does not even know you? What matters most is what you think about yourself, so that when you look in the mirror, you like what you see. Say it with me: not everybody needs to like you. This is the hardest thing I have had to learn as a chronic people pleaser, but my life has felt so much freer ever since.
Lastly, I would remind myself to step outside the business school and fall back in love with the liberal arts. When I first came to Manhattan, and since I decided to do business, I thought I could only look at business school-related events and clubs. But Manhattan is the perfect place for you to explore all your interests, no matter how different they may be from each other. I was able to reignite my love for writing, first through the English classes I took, then through “Her Campus,” now “Lotus,” and finally my English minor. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.