Growing up, tattoos were never talked about in my family. No one in my family had one, and not many people I went to school with had tattoos. They were just another form of expression to me, like getting your ears pierced, but I never had a desire to do it to myself. One of my biggest fears as a kid was going to doctor’s appointments and dreading the moment the needle went into my skin. I would look away and even shutter from the pinch in my skin.
I went from middle school to high school, living with the same kind of mind set that I would never get a tattoo. Junior year is when that all changed. I went to a small private high school and it seemed that everyone around me was starting to get tattoos at an alarmingly fast rate. At this time, I never felt pressured to conform to those around me, and I was adamant that I would not forever pierce my skin with an image that I might regret as I age.
As time went on, I started getting this crazy idea that I wanted a tattoo. I wanted to express myself, and I wanted to heal myself. The best way to do that was through painting a picture on my body. I spent countless hours on Pinterest getting ideas and brainstorming what I would want to be a part of me for the rest of my life. Towards the end of my junior year, my best friend brought up the idea of the tattoo that I had been talking about for months. At lunch one day, my friend urged me to call the tattoo shop and make an appointment for later that day, and I did. I also called my mom and asked her how she felt about me getting something so permanent. She would only agree to it if it was small, could easily be hidden and if it had special meaning to me. As I took all of this in, I knew it was time to commit to the idea.
After school that day, my three friends and I piled into the car and drove forty-five minutes to the tattoo shop. I was a ball of nerves. My hands shook as I handed the picture to the tattoo artist to show him what I wanted. It was a lotus flower. The lotus flower symbolizes growth through hard times and I thought it was the perfect reminder for everything I have accomplished even as depression and anxiety threatened to take over my life. To this day, I am reminded that I can and will get through any trials that appear before me. My tattoo is a constant reminder that I am not alone in my fight and I have so much love to give and receive. Getting a tattoo is a decision I do not think I will ever regret and I am grateful for the life I have been given.