After being at college for one month I remember thinking, “everyone is hot in here.” I don’t know if it’s because we’re older or people are good at making themselves look good or KU just attracts the prettiest people in the midwest. Either way, I felt like I was comparing my face, my body, my style, my social skills, etc. to everyone around me.
I think a big part of this is communal living. My whole experience living at college has been with girls (freshman year in an all-girls dorm and sophomore year in a sorority house). As much as I love being surrounded by friends at all times, it is easy for me to feel like there is someone around me I can compare myself to at all times.
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COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS IS SO UNHEALTHY! I know this and I know it is far easier said than done. I’m writing this to help myself and hopefully help other people who feel like their self-esteem plummeted in college. And so I propose: 4 tips that promote healthy self-esteem.
First, and probably the easiest step with the greatest impact, is to stop stalking people on Instagram. It starts by clicking on someone who is tagged in a picture, then you stalk her for a little, then click on her pretty friend, and stalk her a little, then find another pretty friend, and then you feel depressed. Going deep into a social media hole truly does not benefit you in any way. Aim to keep your Instagram time at a minimum, just scrolling through your feed occasionally.
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Next, talking to other people about feeling down about yourself can help tremendously. Self-esteem is very personal and feels like something we should keep private. However, talking through something you’re experiencing can feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders and potentially allow you to view it in a different light. It’s important to know that you aren’t alone. Everyone has insecurities and being able to share this with someone makes you see that it’s not just you feeling this.
This was a hard realization for me to come to, personally, but alone time isn’t always what’s best. I love my alone time, especially when I’m going through it, but sometimes all the overthinking and overanalyzing makes things worse. If you find yourself stuck in sad girl hours, try to find a distraction– go exercise, watch a movie, treat yourself to some online shopping. I find human interaction the best. Even sitting in a room with friends can help get your mind off the negative.
The last tip I have is to focus on the things you love about yourself and play it up. For example, if you like your eyes, experiment with some eyeshadow to bring attention to them. Also, dress in what makes you comfortable and feel good about yourself, because it sucks to suck in all night and feel like a stuffed sausage. Self-expression has a huge impact on how you view yourself so bring your best qualities forward and focus on the beautiful things about you (because there are so many <3).
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