Growing up with an atrocious haircut, buck teeth and no popularity meant that when I finally did start receiving compliments (though my teeth are still crooked and I am now unbothered by it), I thought it was a barefaced lie. Surely, there was little that could be complimented, even if I did have a glow up and be slightly more confident?
There are still some days where it feels hard to accept those compliments from drop dead gorgeous girls, there is still a spark of genuine disbelief as the compliment is expertly deflected and reverted to the speaker. And I know for a fact that I am definitely not the only one to feel so.
So how do you take compliments? If not for anything else, then at least because accepting compliments gracefully is a boost to self confidence and esteem, and doing so without putting yourself down is even more classy. But HOW?
Now, to be very, very honest, this isn’t something I am absolutely great at. This is something I am still working on, it is a process and it is something that may not come to you at the snap of your fingers, there may still be some lingering doubts, some small voices in your head telling you that they don’t mean it. But it does get better, slowly and surely.
The trick here is to first, accept the compliment (despite the instinct to deflect). A thank you with a smile (the smile is very important) goes a long way! And then, my favourite part, compliment the person back! This, of course, works only if you are in, say an elevator or are walking with them. Pick out something you find genuinely interesting – could be their outfit, the way they styled their hair, their makeup or nails or even something like their shoes. It doesn’t matter what you find pretty as long as it is genuine and heartfelt. Do NOT give fake compliments that you obviously do not believe in, for trust me, it shows and will only be worse for you.
And voila, congratulations! Not only have you received a compliment, but you’ve also given one! While you could get creative with the compliments, I find that I’m not that quick of a thinker (usually because I get caught off guard when being complimented); but a “Oh my gosh, I love/like your nails/hair/whatever aspect you want to compliment! It’s genuinely lovely!” is sweet, short and succinct.
And that is honestly the essence of giving compliments, really. A genuine compliment has a lot of power, a lot of meaning and encouragement. Think about one time you got complimented and how it made you feel. That is what you shall be doing to others!
Sure, taking and giving compliments seems daunting at first. But we must realise that the essence of it is to encourage and uplift one another, to nudge them to see themselves in lights they did not see themselves in. And one, simple compliment can do that for both receiver and giver.
By the way, I love that you stayed till the end, hope this helps you out even a little bit!