It’s 2021 and the human population is increasing day by day, but people are feeling lonelier than ever. The world’s heavily influenced by the internet; majority of the population is starting to have more online friends. We can act like we are happy with that & maybe we are but we are creatures who believe in the things we see & no matter how much we disagree, if something isn’t right in front of our eyes & doesn’t appear very real, it doesn’t hold as much value as the more tangible parts of our lives.
The majority of our generation is growing up in nuclear families, with parents who have full time jobs. To compensate for the lack of parental affection, we’re introduced to the internet and since almost all the kids are, face-to-face socialisation becomes somewhat rare. It doesn’t really feel like much of a problem until we grow up and realise the importance of having someone by our side – physically & mentally. Yes, we can preach independency all we want but deep down we’re a race that can barely live past a week without human interaction.
You feel like you have a lot of friends but how deep does your relationship with them run? You know you have a family but things don’t work like a family back home because your parents are busy & you feel guilty for holding expectations of a “family time” after their day’s work. You see a lot of people showing you love & gratitude but hardly any of it feels genuine. You have a lot of problems that you work through in your head & sharing it with others feels like a burden. So, in the end, you just sit down, put your headphones in, take a moment and just get back to work. I have felt all of these things & I believe a lot of you have too. But here’s what I realized, there’s nothing wrong with us, we’re not different & we’re most definitely not immature. We have expectations which are quite justified, it just doesn’t align with the people we expect it from and that isn’t a flaw; instead, it proves that we are humane & we feel things – rightly so.
I am no expert, neither am I a certified therapist but I am a fellow teenager who has experienced it all & below are the things that helped me find the exit door of this never ending maze.
- Slot in time for family conversations
I know I said that they don’t have time for us…or so we think. If the conversation is positive and refreshing, the busiest of parents will find time for it. Be it a card game, a movie night, a bake off or just a conversation, make it happen everyday because it slowly builds up to a very strong relationship. The relationship between a child and a parent or a parent-like figure is the purest bond in existence. So, if we keep that in check, the very backbone of our social life is fixed.
- Build connections and cherish them
We meet our friends at school or in college almost everyday, but how often do we actually talk? Just like any other thing in the world, human relationships need constant nourishment. Lunch with friends, getting drunk, gossiping about others just doesn’t cut it. These don’t build friendships. Long conversations, daily interactions, seeking help & giving help, living life together is what brings you a friend circle that you can count on.
- Find time for yourself
The world is busy moving forward & you need to do the same for yourself. Let’s keep the needs to a minimal requirement and find happiness in ourselves as much as we can. Most of these thoughts of not being loved & having no one come late at night when our minds are done with the day & need something interesting to keep us going. This habit of staying up late is very unhealthy, not only does it harm us, it fosters these statements & exaggerates them till they’re blown out of proportion. Sleep early, wake up early, go for a walk, eat healthy, read a book, start pursuing a passion. All of these things aren’t new to us; we’ve heard them one too many times and whether we like it or not, there’s a reason for it. These things have worked for so many; so it’s time we put our ignorance aside & take some advice.
This isn’t an easy process & it surely doesn’t happen overnight but we could definitely give it a try. We are loved & we are cared about no matter how many times we think we’re not. You don’t have to be alone. Yes the feeling of loneliness won’t disappear by itself so we need to kick it away. We don’t deserve the feeling of vulnerability, the world is indeed beautiful, it just takes a lot of time to start seeing it that way.
Pro Tip: Listen to “Modern Loneliness” by Lauv. You’re not the only one, there’s so many of us going through the same thing.