Apropos to the extremely lax sex education sessions most teenagers are made to sit in on, sex becomes a scandalous affair, seldom addressed. Except, sexual desire is fundamentally human and whether you want it to or not, it shows up. Your body goes through changes constantly, especially during adolescence, causing your hormones to spiral out of control. Your body has needs, both sexual and emotional. So, don’t shy away from sex, in fact, learn to love it!
Sex does wondrous things for your body; it lowers blood pressure, increases bladder control, helps you sleep better, reduces stress, and so on. Given the multiple ways sex benefits you, I’d like to share a few tips to help you ease into routine sexual activity, virgin or not.
- Educate yourself.
Before you begin this ever-giving journey, learn about it and its effects, especially the aftermath. Do your research and find the most suitable contraceptive for you. Do not shy away from consulting a doctor either. As long as you’re of age - 18, in most countries - you are free to do with your body what you wish. Once you have all this knowledge, you’ll be able to focus on actually experiencing sex without worrying about getting pregnant.
- R e l a x.
When you’re paranoid or nescient, especially if it is your first time, you might do really well till the actual sex part. When your mind isn’t present, your body automatically reflects the same. Remember to breathe deep; relax your body and mind. A rigid body can cause a great deal of discomfort and displeasure; to really love sex, relaxing is key.
Once you’ve mastered the art of relaxation, learn to cultivate a relationship of transparency. Communicate your likes and dislikes to your partner to really hit the pinnacle of your sex life. Groups like the Kinky Collective are trying to destigmatize extremely taboo ideas like BDSM in the Indian community. Anonymous reports show that 99% Indians are open to un-vanilla sex; the only obstacle - acceptance.
- Lube it up.
No matter how much fun you are having or how much you trust your partner, there is no good substitute for lubricant. Don’t shy away from lube; it is an essential and the only way to ensure great sex for all the parties involved. Lube reduces friction, making you less susceptible to injury too.
- Getting away.
It is hard not to think about deadlines, especially when they’re fast approaching. Most adults require a vacation to get away from corporate stress and ensure their sanity. Make sex your weekly vacation. This is the time when you forget your worries, live in each moment and get in touch with your primal self. Go wild!
- Finally, it’s okay to not have sex.
Sex doesn’t always have to be penetrative. In fact, the Oxford Dictionary defines sex as “physical contact between individuals involving sexual simulation.” There will be days where you or your partner may not have the necessary energy to ballyhoo. That’s okay. Or sometimes, you might not be absolutely comfortable with the idea even after hours of research. That’s okay too. Sex doesn’t have to be a big deal. There are many other things you and your partner can partake in to serve the same purpose- cuddle, take a nap, touch each other and stop where you need to.
Popular culture and peer pressure, among other things, can make sex sound amazing. And it is! But it only becomes amazing once you accept that it is also equally awkward and maladroit. Don’t have sex because someone told you to, have sex when you’re ready to. Don’t be afraid of sex because someone warned you, enjoy sex because you have the ability to. Remember that sex is what you put your body through, and you alone will have to deal with the consequences. So, start by being comfortable with yourself. Finally, go bananas, you!