From the moment I started watching movies, the one thing that always fascinated me was how quick the conversations between characters were. Two people meet, exchange a few witty lines, talk about their favorite bands, realize they love the same song, listen to it on the same pair of earphones, and boom, happily ever after. Now this has always worried me. What if I was getting to know someone and they looked at me and went “and if a double-decker bus..crashes into us..” expecting me to finish the lyric, and I just smiled back in confusion when instead I was obviously supposed to reply back with a “to die by your side…is such a heavenly way to die.” By now, one can evidently see how awful my examples tend to be, but here is where my curiosity rose: what was the obvious in this? Why was I supposed to “obviously” know this?
Over time, after multiple observations and realizations, I explored why someone could possibly feel pressured to “obviously” know something, and that was when I discovered something called a relatability factor. The Cambridge dictionary states that a “relatability factor” is the ability to connect with others or a story on a personal or emotional level through shared experiences or feelings. Sounds wholesome for the most part, but why does it feel almost pressurizing? As generations pass, you see the need for people to constantly understand what someone is talking about, relate to what they’re saying, feeling, or expressing. In this day and age, it almost feels illegal not to be a Potterhead. And while I’m sure the books and movies are someone’s entire childhood, it makes non–Harry Potter fans seem crazy when, in reality, they just couldn’t relate to what millions did. (Yes, the non–Harry Potter fan here is me. I can already feel the rage through the screen.)
But to avoid sounding biased, let’s take another example – one I do like. Friends, a TV sitcom that created a frenzy worldwide, is loved by millions. Yet, for some people, it just doesn’t click. And that’s completely fine. To each their own. Honestly, if we removed Ross Geller, I’d probably have enjoyed the show more as well. Although somehow, we’ve built a culture where not relating is treated like a flaw. Everyone’s expected to “get” every reference, meme, or fandom. It’s as if failing to relate means you’re out of the loop. How many times have we done something we don’t actually want to, but do it just to fit in? And how many times will we have to pretend that we’ve heard of all the characters in Fortnite when all your life you’ve been playing Fireboy and Watergirl? Your favourite movie, song, ice cream flavour, or Marvel character is going to be judged by someone or the other, regardless. It’s almost impossible to tick off all the boxes in someone’s list of “how cool is this person?” It’s easier to just keep it simple. Love what you love, hate what you hate, and leave it at that.