Academic validation is not a personality trait, but somewhere along the way, we started treating it like one.
I think all of us have that one memory.
That one time in school when, out of nowhere, we topped a class test, or a quiz, or an exam. The kind of moment where even you didn’t see it coming.
The teacher pauses. Looks at your paper again, just to be sure.
And then comes the line:
“Congratulations, you got the highest this time.”
Or,
“I always knew you had it in you.”
Or my personal favorite,
“Thank God you stuck to the script and didn’t make things up this time.”
And suddenly, for a brief moment, you’re the main character.
You walk back to your seat trying to act normal, but inside, there’s a full celebration going on. And you can feel it, the teacher’s pet staring at the back of your head like you just disrupted the natural order of the universe. The rest of the class? Half shocked, half impressed, and a little confused.
Because you weren’t supposed to top.
But you did.
And then comes the best part, you go home.
Answer script in hand, slightly crumpled from overchecking, and you run to your parents.
“Look!”
They look at it. Then look at you. Then back at the paper, just to confirm this is real.
They’re as surprised as you are, but also… proud.
That night, you’re going out for dinner. Not just any dinner, a proper one. Maybe you finally get that swanky toy you’ve been eyeing for months. The one in the shop window that somehow made eye contact with you every time you passed by.
The one your mom said:
“Good marks first.”
And today, you delivered.
That feeling? It’s warm. It’s addictive. It’s powerful.
And slowly, quietly… it plants something in you.
You start associating that feeling, the pride, the attention, the approval, with your worth.
You like being “the one who did well.”
You like the nods, the praise, the small privileges, like being chosen to clean the chalkboard. (Which, at that time, felt like a promotion.)
And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that.
In fact, for many of us, that’s how the journey starts. That validation pushes us to work harder, aim higher, and become better.
But here’s where it gets tricky.
Somewhere along the way, that validation stops being a moment… and starts becoming an identity.
You’re no longer someone who did well.
You’re someone who has to do well.
All the time.
And before you know it, your personality starts shrinking to fit just one thing: your academic performance.
Your marks become your mood.
Your GPA becomes your confidence.
Your rank becomes your self-worth.
And that’s a dangerous place to be.
I met someone in college who told me something that stuck with me.
He said his first year was just like all of ours, figuring things out, chasing grades, aiming for that 9+ CGPA like it was the only thing that mattered.
Every test felt like a verdict.
Every assignment felt like pressure.
But somewhere around second year, things changed.
Not dramatically. Not all at once.
Just slowly.
He realized that while he was busy chasing numbers, life was happening around him.
Friends were being made.
Memories were being created.
Moments were passing.
And he was… missing them.
That hit him.
Because grades? You can always improve them.
You can always take another course, another test, another opportunity.
But that random 2 a.m. conversation with friends?
That spontaneous trip?
That one stupid inside joke that makes no sense to anyone else?
You don’t get those back.
And that’s when he said something simple, but important:
“Yeah, getting good grades is important. But it’s not everything.”
And I think that’s what we forget.
We’re always planning for the future.
“I’ll relax later.”
“I’ll travel later.”
“I’ll enjoy later.”
But later keeps moving.
And in the process, we forget to live now.
So yes, study well.
Do your assignments.
Get your grades.
But don’t let that be the only thing people, and more importantly, you, know about yourself.
Because academic validation is not a personality trait.
It’s just one small part of a much larger, much more interesting person.
So travel in the future as much as you want.
But once in a while, travel in the present too.
See what it gets you.