Welcome to the Build-a-Boyfriend Workshop— where women writers have been assembling the perfect fictional men for centuries. A character so finely tuned that he teeters on the edge of reality, whispering sweet nothings in prose yet remaining forever out of reach in the real world. These men are not just written by women; they are sculpted. They are strong but never brutish, tender but never weak.
But the magic of these men lies not just in their perfection—it’s in their curation. It is a delicate science of crafting the ideal male lead—one who exists not as men are, but as we wish they could be, because perfection comes in different forms, literature and cinema have given us an entire lineup of these dream men.
Let’s meet the lineup:
The Brooding Philosopher Deluxe
The Brooding Philosopher—a man so deep he makes the ocean look shallow. He doesn’t talk—he monologues. Preferably near a rain-streaked window, cigarette in hand, staring into the abyss as if it just revealed life’s greatest tragedy. His preferred method of communication is cryptic one-liners that leave you questioning your entire existence. He has just the right amount of trauma to be intriguing, but not enough to actually require therapy. He won’t tell you he loves you, but he will write you a letter that he never sends. He is a timeless figure—think Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) or Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights). He’s the kind of man who looks at the stars and sighs heavily, not because they’re beautiful, but because they remind him of something he lost. However, in reality, the Brooding Philosopher is often just… a guy who overanalyzes his own tweets and refuses to text back because he’s “processing.”
The Golden Retriever Boyfriend Edition
If the Brooding Philosopher is a storm cloud personified, then the Golden Retriever Boyfriend is pure, undiluted sunshine. He has the energy of a puppy that just heard “Who’s a good boy?” and will follow you around with the same level of devotion. He lives to make you laugh, supports your every wild idea, and will hype you up for simply existing. He will call you every single nickname under the sun (babe, sweetheart, angel, sunshine) and will text you good morning every single day. His love language? Quality time. His other love language? You.
He exists to be the counterbalance to the grumpy, cynical world. Think Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games), Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts), or Patrick Verona (10 Things I Hate About You—I know, slightly chaotic, but still a golden retriever at heart). He is the type of man who will write you a love letter just because. In reality? This species is rare—endangered, even. The closest equivalent is that one guy who hypes up your Instagram stories but still takes three business days to reply to texts.
The Soft but Strong Cinnamon Roll
At first glance, the Soft but Strong love interest seems like the human embodiment of a warm hug—gentle, kind, and emotionally available (a rarity, truly). He is the one who listens intently, remembers the little things, and will absolutely cry during a particularly heartfelt moment. But don’t be fooled by his sweetness—this cinnamon roll has a spine of steel, and if anyone dares to hurt you, he will protect you with his life. He is the type to give you his last bite of food, patch up your wounds (both physical and emotional), and stay up all night just to make sure you’re okay. He doesn’t brood, doesn’t manipulate—he just cares, and that is somehow more attractive than any smirk or swagger could ever be. Imagine Gilbert Blythe (Anne of Green Gables), Simon Basset (Bridgerton), and Samwise Gamgee (The Lord of the Rings). Unlike the previous types, this man exists—just often overlooked for flashier, more brooding types. He’s the best friend who has been there all along, the guy who genuinely listens, the one who shows up when no one else does.
The Morally Gray Love Interest
If the Brooding Philosopher contemplates darkness, then the Morally Gray Love Interest becomes it—reluctantly, of course, and only because the world forced his hand. He is ethically flexible but exclusively for a good cause (or at least, for you). He may burn down a city, but rest assured—it’s a thoughtful arson, justified by a tragic past and a noble endgame. Do laws, ethics, or even basic human decency get in the way of that? Unfortunate, but not his problem. We see this love interest as Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows), Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries), and Loki (Marvel—Committing war crimes, but make it charming). In reality, however, the Morally Gray Man is often just a guy who thinks he’s mysterious because he listens to The Weeknd and won’t tell you where he was last night.
And there you have it—our curated selection of fictional men, handcrafted for maximum appeal. Whether you prefer your love interest brooding and poetic, golden and adoring, or morally flexible with a penchant for destruction, there’s a type for everyone. But the key detail? These men are written. Sculpted, refined, and polished to fit the emotional needs of their stories (and let’s be honest, their audience and the female gaze).
That’s not to say real-life romance is hopeless—it’s just different. Fiction gives us heightened, distilled versions of love, where flaws are endearing, emotional intelligence is scripted, and devotion is unwavering. Reality, on the other hand, is messy, awkward, and sometimes disappointingly mundane. But maybe that’s the charm of it. Maybe love isn’t about finding a man straight out of a novel but about finding someone real—someone who may not be a perfectly curated archetype, but who, in all his imperfect and unscripted humanity, is still yours.