Hello, everyone. You’re probably wondering what I, Maggie Bradley, a mere peasant woman, is doing writing an article about trying to become 100% That Bitch. Well, boy oh boy, do I have a story for you. You see, ever since I heard the song “Good as Hell” on my favorite radio station back home (89.3 the Current) in the summer of 2016, I have been obsessed with the woman who sings it, Lizzo. I love her infectious positivity and unapologetic badassery and confidence, and I love how proud she makes me feel to be from Minnesota. Because I’m such a big fan, of course, I follow her Instagram and love to watch her stories and videos, and this summer there was some particularly good content. Using Instagram’s new interactive feature, Lizzo opened up her story to answer fan questions, and a fellow fan asked a question that I myself had been grappling with for quite a while. There is a lyric in one of Lizzo’s songs, “Truth Hurts,” that goes, “I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% That Bitch,” which I find to be truly inspiring. I wanted to become 100% That Bitch too, but I didn’t know how. Finally, I got some answers. When a fan asked for Lizzo’s top 5 tips on how to achieve this goal, she delivered:
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Yes, eat that
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Mind your business
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Don’t text a f**k boy
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Coconut oil
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Listen to “Truth Hurts”
In my quest to emulate one of the women I admire most, I endeavored to take a week to devote one full day to each of these tips. Here’s how it went:
Day 1: Yes, eat that
Today I strove to follow Lizzo’s number one tip: eat whatever the f**k you want. I am generally a pretty healthy person, and I try to eat reasonably cleanly. This means I normally restrict myself to Peirce dessert once a day, typically at dinner. But in the spirit of this challenge, I treated myself to a chocolate chip cookie at lunch (ok, actually maybe two cookies) and honestly, they were pretty damn good. Then, later that night, my sorority threw a recruitment event with pancakes and, you know what, I treated myself to some of those as well. Did this help me to feel more empowered and in control of my life? Actually, yeah, a little. It helped me to realize that I don’t always have to be so tough on myself. Occasionally, I should be a little more lenient and cave in to my cravings, because nothing bad will happen. In fact, I might even be a little happier. Thanks, Lizzo.
Day 2: Mind Your Business
Ok, this day was hard. As almost all of my friends will tell you, I’m kind of a gossip. Not about anything serious (I can actually keep some things secrets— thank you very much!), but I like to stay updated on all the dirty details of my friends’ lives and keep them up to date on my messy life as well. But today, I skipped the tea sessions and made a conscious effort to zip my lips. I slipped up a couple of times, but for the most part, I was able to restrain myself. It turns out that not being a nosey person is not only achievable but also, it may actually be kind of calming. I had a huge biology test to study for, and I found myself feeling a little less stressed than usual, maybe due to the newfound time I had from not socializing. All in all, I’d call this day a success. I think I’ll continue taking occasional breaks from gossip just to keep good mental health.
Day 3: Don’t Text a F**k Boy
To really get in the spirit of this day, I decided to just leave all the men in my life on read. I made exceptions for family members and co-workers, but everyone else was fair game. I would apologize to all of the boys I didn’t respond to on Wednesday (you know who you are), but to be honest I find that I don’t really care enough to. I think Lizzo would be proud. I truly am taking baby steps to become 100% That Bitch, and I’m not going to lie— it feels pretty powerful. I’m normally the type of girl who responds to a text almost immediately, no matter how long the other person took to reply, and making them wait on me for once felt good. Almost too good. Who am I???
Day 4: Coconut Oil
I have a confession to make: I actually don’t own any coconut oil. Although I know how popular it is and understand how good it can be for all aspects of my personal hygiene and beauty routine, I just never got around to incorporating it. Lucky for me, Garnier sent Kenyon’s chapter of Her Campus some sweet goodie bags this week full of wonderful hair care products—one of which was coconut oil based. Figuring that would be Lizzo approved, I used that as my coconut oil substitute for the day.
I ended up using the coconut hair mask in the shower at like 1 am after a very long and stressful day, and it really worked wonders. It smelled AMAZING and it made my hair really shiny and smooth the next day, and using it did lower my stress level a little bit. Maybe Lizzo was right after all in saying all I needed was some coconut oil.
Day 5: Truth Hurts
I’m not lying when I say that this day was the day I was looking forward to the most. If you haven’t heard “Truth Hurts” yet, you’re doing yourself a disservice. It is truly the anthem of 2018, and anyone who says differently is an uncultured fool. I know every word to this song by heart, and I do typically listen to it on an almost everyday basis because it’s on my workout playlist. I go to the gym about 5 days a week, and it still never gets old.
Listening to “Truth Hurts” on my way to my Friday 8:10 really set the mood for the daily grind in an inspiring way. I felt powerful, strong, accomplished, and in control of my life, and I have Lizzo to thank for that.
So what have I learned this week? So much. I’ve really learned to love and appreciate myself more and to not take my time for granted. I don’t need to waste my energy texting men who waste my time, beat myself up for occasionally eating too much sugar, or share messy details of my life with friends over lunchtime tea. I need to focus more on improving my self-care habits and just really taking care of my body and mind. I’m so drawn to Lizzo because of the confidence and power she radiates—things she gets from investing time and energy into loving and taking care of her own damn self. In the spirit of Lizzo’s mantra, I need to work towards being my own inspiration. Then, and only then, will I actually become 100% That Bitch.
Image Credits: Feature, 1, 3, 4, 6, Maggie Bradley