I Was Sad and Bought an Outrageous Cup

Last Tuesday, I was sad. I was experiencing serious mid-semester blues and stress. I got a worse grade on a project for my film class than I was expecting. I was grumpy and feeling really down on myself, so I bought a ridiculous cup.

 

I was sitting in my film class, feeling grumpy after getting my grade back on our project, and I didn’t really feel like being there. So, like any responsible student with a laptop, I basically checked out of class and checked my e-mail. In my e-mail, which is cluttered with online shopping deals from ColourPop, Anthropologie, ModCloth, and others, I had an e-mail from ban.do––the website where your friends buy their fun planners––about a huge sale they were having. So, like a responsible adult, I decided to engage in some retail therapy.

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After clicking through to the website, I switched by the “sort by” setting to “Price: Low to High” because I am smart. Ban.do is kind of a pricey website, which is why I until this point had never bought anything from them. Most of the things that were under $15 were pens, paper clips, and stickers and I didn’t really feel like that was going to quell my need.

 

Then, I found it. I found the cup.

 

It’s called the “sip sip tumbler with straw - love potion,” which is just an absurd name for a product. It’s baby pink with large script font that says “Love Potion” on the front with a heart-covered straw. Original price: $14. Sale price: $9. Now, I don’t think anyone would describe my personal style brand as “baby pink and covered in hearts.” (My friend Erin tells me my brand is “funky queen/pattern casual,” but I might describe it more as a sad, eclectic 12-year-old boy from the early 2000s.) But, I was sad and wanted to exert my power in this life by laying down some cold hard cash (see: typing in my debit card number) for something that I would save a whole $5 on.

 

So, I added it to my cart and checked out. (I also saved an additional $1.35 by using Wikibuy; thrifty, baby.)

 

It shipped the next day and arrived in Gambier on Friday. Now, I am lazy and did not go to the post office on Friday. Very little in this world could convince me to leave the confines of my warm house to make it to the post office on a Saturday morning before it closes. So, on Monday, November 6th, I ventured to my P.O. box to pick up my depression destiny.

 

When I got home, I opened the box, and oh my God, this is the most absurd thing I have ever bought. It’s HUGE and so, so very pink. Also, something I neglected to notice on the website is that on the back, in bold all-caps writing, the cup reads “Instant crush inducting new improved formula.” It’s quite literally one of the most stereotypically girly things I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

I’m going to drink out of it every day. I’m going to pretend to be doing it ironically, but I’m actually probably going to feel cute and silly as hell.

 

Now, I know depression-buying a giant pink tumbler might seem frivolous, and it probably totally is, but I think retail therapy can be really helpful if done in moderation and within your economic means. There’s the joy of receiving the present in the mail, but just the act of purchasing something and bringing it into your world does display a high degree of agency and power to purchase. I worked all summer on a project that I was paid for, and I work two jobs at Kenyon. So, I do have some level of spending money. Maybe trolling my e-mail for deals on silly cups, stationery, and dresses isn’t the most productive way to deal with being sad about something, but damn, does it feel good.

Image Credit: Feature,1, Mackenna Goodrich