Emotions are something that I think about a lot. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, emotions are reactions, and we react to things frequently. More than that, we react to things differently. So with that in mind, in this article, I want to talk about how to anticipate, acknowledge, accept, and alleviate emotions. In no way am I a trained positive psychologist, and while I am a Peer Counselor, I don’t have all the right answers. In fact, that’s the unfortunate truth of most work dealing with emotions—there is no one right answer. But there are answers and tangible methods of dealing with all of the icky and uncomfy feelings manifesting in your person. So let’s dive on in.
Anticipate Your Emotions
This may seem weird or obvious, but take the time to understand what makes you tick. Moreover, get comfortable embracing what makes you uncomfortable. This can help in preparing yourself for potentially uncomfortable situations. Yes, there is still the inevitable discomfort of something that’ll make you upset, like a friend ignoring you or a bad grade or getting a cold; however, when you take the time to anticipate your emotions, you’re accessing the risk of what might happen. In other words, you’re applying logic to your emotions.
Sometimes waking up and knowing that you have two tests and a presentation tomorrow, which means that today will be stressful is actually beneficial—you are taking the time to take care of yourself and know that something will make you unhappy. More importantly, getting to know yourself and what makes you tick is important because it disassociates you from your emotions—you’re acknowledging that something external is causing you to be upset. Your emotions are not you, they’re merely a reaction. And when we can look at emotions as anticipated reactions, we can judge them and determine what is important and what isn’t; what is worth putting energy into as an actual extenuating risk to our wellbeing. Weirdly enough, research shows that the more you consider the emotional consequences of your actions, the less risk you have because you’re taking care of yourself in preparation for potential negative emotions.
Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
Let yourself feel whatever you are feeling without buying into every emotion. Since we live in such a fast-paced society, sometimes it’s hard to or even discouraged to take a second and feel whatever you’re feeling. You get a bad grade and immediately go to lunch and force yourself to smile even though you’re bummed—what good does this do? As I talked about in my last article, taking the time to acknowledge and embrace your emotions increases your emotional intelligence—in non-psychology jargon, even though it’s a slow process, by training yourself to embrace your emotions you can teach yourself to react quicker and more maturely over time to your emotions. This may sound redundant, but we are all guilty of not taking the time to acknowledge what we’re feeling as legitimate and real. Acknowledging the fact that you’re going through an uncomfortable feeling is not a sign of weakness or craziness or abnormality. Rather, acknowledging emotions provides opportunities for self-reflection, growth, and empathy towards others.
Accept What’s Going On
This is the fun part! Accept when a bad day is a bad day. Take the “L” as the kids say. Let yourself feel upset about whatever is making you upset. Don’t stop everything by any means, but adequately accept your current state of being. In saying this, I’m trying to say that not every emotion requires the same treatment. Sometimes anger comes more in abrupt burps, and accepting it may mean going to the gym to wear yourself out from all the intense energy. Sometimes being sad means distracting yourself from the problem through self-care; putting a face mask on, watching a good movie, or doing something fun with a friend. Anxiety can often be accepted through journaling—writing down what you’re thinking takes the thoughts from your head and actualizes them on paper. Accepting your emotions doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll disappear but it does give you the energy to manage them.
Alleviate and Keep Going
This is arguably one of the hardest steps because it requires you to stand back and analyze what you’re feeling. Is this icky feeling going to matter in an hour, in a day, in a month, or in a year? Here’s the secret: you don’t move on from things, but you do move forward. I know this sounds cheesy, but it’s true. By going through all these steps, the realization and acceptance and maintenance of emotions, you’re working to create this inner switch. You can go about your day and have something horrible happen, and you’ll panic and be upset and eventually go through all these methods, and after all of it, you’ll develop the ability to turn the switch off. In turning that switch off, you’re acknowledging the meaning and importance of your life—yes you have emotions but you’re also more than that, and you don’t have time to spend every day in bed being upset! Allot yourself the time to feel what you need to feel, and then respect the fact that you are more than your feelings.
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