As I am getting older, I am making more and more mistakes. Mistakes are supposed to be part of what makes a person grow. Everyone makes mistakes, but lately, I feel like I have made more mistakes than ever. I wonder why this is. Does this mean that I am actually an adult? That I have more decisions to make? That I am being independent?
As a kid, my parents probably sheltered me from life. They were always there for me and provided mostly anything I needed. They also taught me to go home and never find trouble, which was not a problem because I was a homebody anyway. Therefore, I never really made regrettable decisions. There was no room for me to feel bad, except for the times I screamed at my brother or got mad for no reason. Even these mistakes were nothing big, just me acting irrationally.
I think doing regrettable things has made me feel like an adult in college. I haven’t figured it out entirely, but maybe it’s the freedom I have been granted—the freedom to hang out with my friends at night, go to parties, drink, eat whatever I want, study, go to class, and so much more. This freedom has been good because I am experiencing life, but at the same time, I do not always make the right decision.
So, at this point, you might be wondering: what are these decisions? Are they really that bad? It may vary from person to person, but for me, it is regrettable that I don’t call my family, I go to concerts without telling my parents, I let my friend drive 100 mph, and many other things. I basically do all the things my parents would not want me to be doing. These decisions were my choice in the end, but I wonder who I am if I make these decisions. Am I the girl who lets things go because she wants to fit in? Am I the girl who will continue to make bad decisions over and over?
Honestly, I am probably the girl who lets friends influence her. I am the girl who lets things happen because it is “cool”. An example would be smoking; I know smoking is horrible for you. However, I love how the smoke just blows out of my mouth because I feel like there is something mysterious about it. Sometimes I look up what smoking does to the body to make myself stop thinking it’s so “cool”. Smoking, drinking, and going out make me feel like I am doing something bad. However, I look back at social media, movies, and the people I look up to and think “this is the process of growing up”. I often wonder how much influence these outside factors have over the lives of me and other young people. They seem to portray a particular way to have fun and experience life. At times, it is fun, but at a certain point, it makes a person wonder what they are doing to themselves. Is it what I want or what is expected of me?
Everyone makes regrettable decisions. I think if you learn from the decisions you have made, then good for you! If you haven’t learned, then maybe it will take more mistakes to finally figure it out. The thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes.
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