What Having OCD is Really Like

While OCD is a disorder that affects approximately 1 in 100 adults in the United States, it is a very misunderstood mental health disorder. OCD is not just wanting to keep your room clean and organized. OCD is not just having your notes color-coordinated. OCD is repeated thoughts of panic when you don’t take a certain number of steps or having to ensure the door is locked five times before you leave your house. I know all of this firsthand as I have suffered from OCD every day for nearly 10 years.

When I was 11 years old I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety disorder. I had been experiencing severe panic attacks multiple times a day and compulsions that hindered my day to day life. At the time I was so young that I didn’t really understand what it meant to have a mental health issue. To me, it felt like there was something wrong with me since I saw a therapist once a week and was on medication I took daily. I hid this from everyone, friends, family, classmates. I was ashamed of my disorder. 

When I got older I began to realize how common OCD and anxiety really are. I started to find out that other people around me also had mental health disorders they suffered from. Now I am far less afraid to talk about my struggles and what I have been through. OCD is something I will have for the rest of my life, but I never let it stop me from living my life to the fullest. Yes, there are days that are hard and times in which I really struggle, but through various coping mechanisms, I have learned how to manage my OCD. 

The reason I so passionately talk about OCD and having a mental health disorder is that I want to break the stigma around mental health. Since mental health disorders are not visible, they are often not discussed or seen as not real issues. This is very much not true as 1 in 5 Americans suffer from some sort of mental health issue. Often times people struggle without anyone knowing for fear of people judging them or treating them differently. Over the years, I have learned that it is okay to talk about your mental health issues, and often times when you do, it encourages others to open up as well.

I have made so many improvements in my mental health and how I address my issues with myself. Instead of feeling guilty or punishing myself for my mistakes, I take them as an opportunity to grow. I have learned to recognize when a panic attack may be coming on and how to talk myself down from that. It took a lot of hard work, and some days are easier than others, but practicing gratitude has been major in helping me through it all. Even on a day when it may seem like everything is going wrong, finding a few things that I am grateful for can really help to turn my day around.

 Whether you are someone who struggles with a mental illness or not, be kind to those around you as you never know what someone may be going through that you can’t see. Spread joy and positivity wherever you go and be a spark of light in someone else’s darkness.

• anxiety
• mental health
• Mental Health Awareness
• obsessive compulsive disorder
• ocd