Just over four months ago, on June 17th, 2018, one of the worst things that could have been imagined happened. My mom and Dad were on the phone and called me and my younger brother to the kitchen and told us to sit down. At that very moment I knew something was not right, I knew that something terrible had happened. They told us that my cousin Jordan had passed away in a car crash on his Marine Corps Base.
Suddenly I felt as though I could not breathe. I started crying uncontrollably and ran to my room and put my head in the pillow. My heart was in pieces at the thought that one of my favorite people in this world, was no longer going to be around.
PFC Jordan Alexander Smith was 19 years old and just short of two months from graduating from the Engineering school at his Marine Corps Base. He had already completed his basic training in the summer of 2017. He was planned to be moved and located to Hawaii after graduation.
Jordan and I were the same age and graduated the same year from our distant high schools. When we were younger, we did not get along well at all. We were always fighting and yelling at each other and then as we got older, we started getting closer. He was one of my best friends. Jordan was special to everyone who knew him, and those that did not really missed out an amazing, loving and goofy person. There was never a dull moment when he was around. He loved to sing and dance and act like a complete goofball just to get people laughing all the time. Jordan and I were especially close. He lived halfway across the country from me, but we texted and snap-chatted almost every day and often we would have phone calls in the middle of the night. I could tell him anything and he would listen and give advice, but he would also help me to feel better by making jokes and singing to me. Though we did not get to see each other often, we always stayed connected.
The morning before Jordan’s passing, we were snap-chatting, having a usual little conversation ending it with “love you” and me telling him to be careful. That was the last conversation I had with him. Even though it has been just over four months, I still hurt everyday thinking about him being gone.
When Jordan arrived back to his small hometown in Oklahoma, the entire town lined the streets to welcome home their own in a very sad way. Jordan was able to have an impact on everyone around him and everyone was there to support each other and his family. My mom and I were able to go down to Oklahoma for the funeral. He was placed in a military cemetery where he now rests in the same pillar as our grandfather. A pillar is basically a wall with separate areas for people’s ashes to be placed, with a covering that is considered the headstone. They share the same spot, so both of their names are now on the headstone.
Grief is something that is not easy to deal with. I have lost grandparents and other family members and even a few friends. They all hurt, and I was relatively close to all of them, but this is one of the hardest losses I have ever had to experience. Some of the things I have done that help me in this time of grief are simple. I occasionally write in a journal, and in that journal I basically write letters to him. It helps me still feel a connection with him. I also made a playlist of songs that are sad and about loss, but I also included some of his favorite songs and songs that remind me of him and good memories. One of the most important things I do though is talk to my family every time I feel a little extra broken, and not letting the memory of him fade away.
Writing this article was not easy for me to do, but it helped me gain a sense of honoring my favorite Marine. I hope my story is able to help people going through similar feelings of loss and grief, below are a few helpful links if you or someone you know is suffering from the loss of a loved one.
https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_…
https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/loss-grief
http://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/