Do you ever catch yourself constantly putting others before yourself, or have a tough time simply saying “no” to people? Many people like myself struggle with the word “no” and often put others’ needs before our own, which can be really detrimental to our overall happiness and well-being.
For me, I constantly find myself dropping everything that I have planned to do for myself the second that someone close to me needs a favor. If you’re a people-pleaser like myself, you know exactly how difficult it can be sometimes to say no to someone because you don’t want to disappoint them, but remind yourself that you come first and you’re not wrong for doing what you need to do.
I know many people struggle with FOMO; the fear of missing out, and in college, this can be hard to deal with. For example, you may have a bunch of friends begging you to go out and have fun one night, but you may have an important test to study for, so you’ll feel like you’ll miss out on all the fun, or you may simply feel bad for saying no. Another scenario that I tend to have trouble with is when I have plans to do whatever is on my agenda for the day, but a friend needs a favor that interferes with what I have planned. Normally, I drop whatever I’m doing just to help out a friend, but I’ve started to put things into perspective for myself and recognize that I have to put myself first and get comfortable saying no, even if at first I may disappoint someone.
(Image Credit: Danielle Maclnnes https://unsplash.com/photos/IuLgi9PWETU)
Regardless, prioritizing yourself is the most important thing you can do. At this point in your life, it’s vital that you make decisions based on what’s most important to you, rather than making them based off what someone else wants. In the long run, what matters most is whether you are happy and proud of the decisions you’ve made, so don’t make decisions out of guilt, or out of fear of disappointing someone else whether they may be a significant other, a friend, or a family member. Life is too short to revolve your decision-making around another person; you’ve got to put YOU above everyone and everything else.
The wise and talented author Anna Taylor once said, “Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”
(Image Credit: Jessica Lewis https://unsplash.com/photos/cdwpR1AUn8o)