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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois State chapter.

Let’s face it — we spend a lot of time with ourselves. We are certainly our own worst enemies, and negative self-talk can sneak up on you when not checked. Life gets busy; we have jobs, assignments, and relationships to balance. But to perform at our best, we need to make sure we are good first. 

I’ve come a long way with my confidence and self-love journey. However, there are certain things that I have to keep reminding myself of. These things may be a friendly reminder for you too.  

At this moment, I am worthy 

In the digital world we live in, everyone is posting their life online. I am guilty of comparing myself to people my age on social media. This has made me feel like I’m falling behind because my life isn’t as perfect as that Instagram post. I was putting my worth into my accomplishments and the appearance I gave off. However, I am worthy of love and belonging at this very moment. My worth does not equal the number of likes I get, my relationship status, or my job. I can love myself while I am working on myself and my goals. Every person’s path in life is different, and we all reach our goals at different times. I am not falling behind if I am not at the level of someone else just yet; success is not linear.  

I need to be patient  

What I want is always changing. Going to college has helped me discover my interests, but I still have so much to learn about myself. Through this, I have been trying out a lot of new things and learning new skills. Pursuing new things can come with failure or frustration. For example, I started picking up playing the ukulele. While I love it, it’s easy for me to get annoyed with myself when my progress isn’t as fast as I want it to be. These kinds of things don’t happen overnight! I will get where I want to be with persistence. It’s important to trust the process and never give up.  

Listen to yourself 

People will give you a million opinions, but I am the person who knows me best. I cherish people that are looking out for me, but I have to listen to what I want. Living based on what other people want is not living a life of your own. I don’t want to regret missing out on opportunities or experiences, because I was afraid of how I’d be perceived.  

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

I am not selfish for taking time to myself 

I used to think that taking time alone made me a terrible friend because I wasn’t giving them my full attention. This has made me feel burned out and socially drained. However, I can’t make sure the people I care about are in a good spot if I am not in a good spot myself. Anyone who can’t respect your boundaries or mental health is probably not a good person to stick around with, anyway.  

The past is the past 

Are you the type of person who spends your nights staring at the ceiling and replaying your past mistakes? Yeah, I was too, and I am still guilty of doing this. There are things I would have done differently in the past. But that’s just the thing…it’s in the past! It’s such a waste of energy to regret the things you can’t change; I couldn’t be the person I am today without making those mistakes! Choosing to take the past as a learning experience instead of regret will save you a lot of negative and unhelpful energy.

“You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.”- Susan Champlin 

As we live our busy lives, we could use reminders like these from time to time. I invite you to create reminders of your own or use the ones listed above. Maybe write them on your calendar or put them on post-it notes by your bed. I’ve really enjoyed using the app “I Am.” This app will send you positive affirmations throughout the day. It can really help shift your mindset and give you a confidence boost. You deserve the world!

Isabel Crabtree

Illinois State '25

Hello everyone! I am a marketing student at Illinois State University. I love all things music, true crime, and self-improvement. I write to inspire and share what I've learned. Thank you for reading!