It’s been a while to say hi to you guys!
It’s finally Spring, the season of fresh beginnings and new encounters in Japan. In spring, most of those who start new lives try hard to build relationships to get used to their new surroundings.
To flow smoothly into other relationships, I’ll share my 3 tips for navigating new relationships while keeping things comfortable and respectful.
To be honest, I’m a bit of a “highly sensitive person” (HSP). I tend to overthink every word I say and every word I hear long after a conversation is over. However, I genuinely love talking and connecting with people equally. To make socializing enjoyable for both myself and others, I’ve developed a few personal “golden rules”, so let’s check them together.
1. Let Others Be the Hero of Their Story
We often categorize people as “good” or “bad” listeners, but what is the difference between them? It’s all about how much interest you show in the other person.
In a group talk, everyone normally takes turns sharing an episode from their life. When someone else is talking and it’s not your turn, remember that it is their turn to be the main character. Even if you have a similar story, keep in mind that holding back your story until they’ve finished.
Based on Rogers’ theory of Empathic Understanding, listening is about providing
that same comfort you feel when someone truly hears you. Don’t hijack the spotlight and be a good listener.
2. Mind the “Vibe” and Set Boundaries
I recently watched a video about introducing the tips that the person keeps in mind when interacting with others.
The video pointed out that everyone has different triggers—whether it’s about their looks, personality, or past. What you think is a funny joke to “break the ice” might actually be a dealbreaker for someone else.
Respect is the foundation. Especially in the early stages of a friendship, avoid edgy humour or getting too personal too fast. Also, even after you’ve become close, never lose that basic respect for others.
3. Manage Your Social Capacity and Schedule
When it’s time to say goodbye, I always add “Let’s grab lunch soon!” as a polite way to say goodbye to someone we aren’t actually close to. Therefore, overusing these social pleasantries sometimes leads to double-booking or the feeling of “I really don’t want to go” right before the event.
Building a deep connection takes time. Don’t force a “deep” conversation if the vibe isn’t there yet. If you truly want to get to know someone, reach out individually later. That extra effort shows your genuine interest and leads to much healthier, long-term bonds.
Conclusion
Focus on listening, respect boundaries, and move at a pace that feels right for both of you. Keep in mind them and let’s have a happy socializing!