Self Talk Is Real and Here's How You Can Improve Yours

The other night I sat down to paint my nails, and the entire time I kept thinking; “I can’t believe I have time to do this.” It almost didn’t feel real. Who was this person, not drowning in work or worried about her next deadline? I bet you’re wondering, “what does having the time to paint your nails have to do with positive self-talk?” The truth is, it has everything to do with it. 

self-love Original Illustration by Gina Escandon for Her Campus Media Just like you must make time to do frivolous things in life like painting your nails, using exfoliating scrub in the shower or maybe even binging that reality TV show no one else knows you watch, you have to make time for positive self-talk. The world around you won't, so you have to force it into your busy schedule. 

Back-to-school supplies, agenda Alexa Williams


At this point, everyone has heard of journaling. It’s what you see the girls on the bachelorette doing every morning before they set off to meet their guys. However, there is more to journaling than meets the perfectly placed aesthetic eye for TV viewership. There is something about writing these positive thoughts out that really solidifies them in the brain. I call mine a reflection of myself every day, and I write it before my head hits the pillow every night.

In yours, you can talk about anything. You can even talk about the negativity you faced that day because sometimes the best positive self-talk is born out of those negative thoughts. Even sometimes you won’t realize you’re having these positive thoughts until you’ve written them down on paper. These journals are about accepting that there are only 24 hours a day and you cant always accomplish everything you set out to do, that’s what tomorrow is for.

Guess what, you’ll have yourself tomorrow too and the day after that, so why not treat yourself with a bit of respect because you’re not going anywhere. It’s silly to think that little things won’t bother you each and every day, but once they break through to you, you can’t let them break you. There is a way to acknowledge everything about yourself you would like to change and improve upon without letting it consume you because if you get consumed you’ll never figure out why they bothered you so much in the first place. The things I wrote about a couple of weeks ago that bothered me, I can now read them over with a smile on my face to admire the progress I’ve made in just a few weeks. Problems will continue to exist unless you begin to figure out why they’re there and try to stop them. That may start with writing them down, on paper so you can physically see what’s causing you pain and negative thoughts. 

Woman in bed Photo by Kinga Cichewicz from Unsplash


Respect your emotions and feel them on a deeper level, without feeling weak about it.  A big part of my negativity is that I judge myself for all of my anxious emotions or thoughts. Anybody who has laid awake at night with a churning feeling in their stomach knows how consuming it can be to have anxiety. The biggest thing I’ve realized when it comes to these feelings of anxiety is that I was comparing myself to others around me. I used to remind myself that there were people who had way more pressure in life than I did, so why was I feeling so much anxiety over seemingly nothing? I was looking at it from the wrong angle. Their pressures are different than mine, not better or worse.

If you want to truly be rid of the sinking feeling you get inside, you have to sit in it and take it in. You can’t diminish yourself, the anxiety or the negative thoughts they’re apart of you and will be back if you just push them away. Part of creating this notion of positive self-talk is coming to terms with the fact that it’s okay you had the negative thoughts to begin with. That’s what’s gonna give you the strength to keep going and wake up another day owning the fact that you’re not invincible, and you shouldn’t have to be.  These thoughts can get to you, and they will, but you’re not denying them anymore or letting them take hold of you. You’re admitting they are there so you can strive for something different.