As a senior in college, one of the most challenging things I have had to overcome is the feeling of loneliness. Specifically, after I moved five hours away from my family, I knew no one when I moved into my freshman dorm room. Now, as a senior, I look forward to being independent and taking the initiative to do things on my own. Here are some tips that helped me change my mindset!
What is the difference?Â
The terms “loneliness” and “independence” have different connotations and meanings. Loneliness is often viewed in a negative light and is typically experienced when someone feels isolated and alone. Independence is used positively when someone enjoys their own company and experiences personal growth.Â
recognition
Accept what you are feeling and make an effort to do things you enjoy. If you have negative, self-deprecating thoughts, try to reframe your thinking. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If you are feeling lonely, instead look at what you have and appreciating the benefits of being alone. The ability to discover what you truly want and pursue it, to have that freedom, is empowering.Â
Recognizing and accepting that I was lonely led me to pursue various things in an attempt to change it. I could join the clubs I wanted, choose what I wanted to eat for dinner, and decide whether or not I wanted to go to class.Â
enjoying independence
Although I have moments of sadness where feeling lonely takes over, I have come so far since my first year, when I tended to sulk in my dorm room and feel depressed. Four years later, I have done so many things on my own, including studying abroad in a different country. I have developed new hobbies, and I go on day trips to NYC on my own to do things that I love.Â
The saying “Treat others as they would treat you” is flipped in this scenario. Treat yourself with the kindness and appreciation you would offer a friend. When I find myself with moments of loneliness, I remind myself that I also deserve encouragement and kindness. I have also realized that quiet moments are essential for me to be around people and succeed in my class and job.
celebrating
Don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments! It is so easy to overlook what you have done on your own, but it is essential that while you are becoming independent, you recognize how capable you are at doing things on your own.Â
Once I became comfortable and happy in my independence, enriching friendships found me more than they had in the past, and you will be able to value them as well.Â
These tips will help you become more adjusted to independence and enjoy things on your own!