Change is good. It can be hard, but it’s always been a really good thing for me.
Every time a relationship or friendship has changed, it’s always let to me growing and something better coming from what at the time seemed like a big mess. However, it’s not easy.
No one talks about friend breakups. It happens, and chances are everyone has been through one but the conversations surrounding them don’t happen as often as the societal conversation surrounding breaking up with a significant other.
Take it from me, changes in relationships and friendships are never easy. They always suck. They’re sad at first, but things always change and end up being better than they were. Sometimes doors close so that you can start paying attention to other doors that are opening to you. Having gone through breakups of all kinds, I can personally attest to the fact that everything really does get better with time.
Reaching the decision to finally let go of someone you care about isn’t easy. However, it’s important to always look out for yourself. If you were unhappy in a romantic relationship, you’d (hopefully) breakup with that person. The same goes for platonic relationships. People change and grow apart, it’s life and I’m tired of holding onto people just because we have history.
Just because things ended doesn’t make the rest of your relationship any less important, it just means your Present is different than your Past, and that’s okay.
Actually cutting someone out is hard. The thing is, you don’t always have to cut them out completely. Boundaries are a good thing, and you should always try to set them when you feel it’s necessary. If setting boundaries in a relationship makes that relationship less strong, then you know where you stand.
Not everyone that you become friends with is going to be your best friend. Not everyone is going to be your friend forever. People change and you’re allowed to say goodbye and grow apart from someone if you see your futures simply not aligning. At the end of the day, if you’re secure in your relationship with yourself you’ll find that your relationships with other people are actually stronger because of that.
On top of all of that, just because you break up with one friend doesn’t make your other friendships and relationships any less important, either. Being transparent with the people I love about how I feel and letting myself lean on my other friends for support has not only helped me get through the breakups, but it’s made my relationships with those people even better than they were before.
My best advice for handling cutting people out is to be open-minded. If I’m being honest, it’s always led to amazing things for me and it’s made room for better people to come into my life and help me grow into the type of person I really want to be. It’s not toxic or immature, it’s standing up for yourself and whoever has a problem with that has their own issues to solve, and that’s not your problem.