I Asked 8 College Men about Their Biggest Insecurities in Relationships

Relationships—whether they’re romantic or platonic—are challenging. There is no right or wrong way to navigate a relationship, and because of this, there is often a lot of confusion and insecurity in relationships. Sometimes, we feel as though we’re doing something wrong and that’s why we feel insecure, but guess what? It’s not just us ladies that feel insecure. As shocking as it may seem, guys have insecurities about relationships, too. 

Photo courtesy of Camila Cordeiro

Nick, Hofstra University ’21: "One of my biggest insecurities in a relationship is probably is thinking if the person is good enough for me or if I am good enough for them. Usually, whenever I get into a relationship, I do become indecisive because of that and it totally messes up what I have with them." 


Anonymous, Penn State University ’21: "I would have to say my biggest insecurity is coming off as too attached or too needy. There's usually a point near the start of relationship where both people are completely obsessed over one another and are so happy to have found each other and share this new connection. But that feeling, [or] initial spark, may wear off for one person faster than the other. Wanting to get that original crazy infatuation over each other back could lead to me being completely overbearing and maybe overwhelming the other person, and I'm afraid of ever doing that."


Aaron, Pace University ’21: "To me, a big insecurity is being too comfortable. Of course being comfortable is a great thing, but there is a possibility of being too comfortable that takes away certain parts of the relationship. You don't want it to be so comfortable that the romantic parts are all gone."


Nathan, Saint Joseph’s University ’20: "For me, one of the things I feel most insecure about is not being enough of my own person. I’ve realized that I tend to be extremely impressionable and my interests are often guided by what other people are into. This usually leads to me feeling that talking about my own interests and passions is annoying, which can be frustrating and even isolating at times."


Manny, Rutgers University ’21: "I have never been in a relationship, but if I were ever in one my biggest insecurity would be that the girl I'm with secretly doesn't love me and is only with me because she feels bad."


Ricardo, Pace University ’21: "My biggest insecurity in relationships is to be enough for the other person. While being in college makes me question who I am and what aspects of my life I am attached to, being in a relationship will make me question if those characteristics that I’m discovering are enough for someone that I care about." 


Mike, Hofstra ’21: "My biggest insecurity about being in a relationship in college is balancing out the time you spend with friends, relationship, clubs, etc. So basically making sure that you give each portion of college life enough time."


Anonymous, Pace ’21: "My first biggest insecurity would be not having mutual feelings with the person I’m in a relationship with. I also feel really insecure when in a relationship because I don’t want the girl to think that I’m too overbearing or that I’m not giving her enough space."

Photo courtesy of Hannah Busing

See, ladies? Despite what you may think sometimes, men have feelings, too. So, the next time you and your S.O. get in an argument or you’re feeling a little insecure, just remember that his feelings about the situation are probably similar to yours. Communication is key and absolutely makes all the difference in achieving a happy, healthy relationship.