It doesn’t matter how long you were together. Breakups can seriously suck. Here are six steps for you to get over them and get back to the life you want to live.
Step One: Let Your Emotions Flow.
Cry, scream, punch a pillow. If you feel relieved, let yourself feel relieved. If you feel guilty, ask yourself why. Don’t stop yourself from feeling because that will make it worse. Holding in your emotions will make the pain last longer because your brain needs to let them out. Let those feelings out in your room by yourself and just let loose. Get rid of painful memory triggers like gifts they gave you or pictures hanging on your wall. You don’t need those reminders in your face.
Step Two: Talk to Someone.
Whether it’s a parent or relative or a really good friend, talking to someone and being honest about how you feel can really help you feel better and get the weight off your chest after a breakup. You might not be ready to talk about it right away, but someone who cares about you can really help you figure out how you feel and how you’re going to move forward. It’s important to find people who will always be there to support you no matter what. Just be honest with them and don’t be afraid to get emotional. Spill your feelings. Having someone to listen and understand can be a great reliever.
Step Three: Stay In.
Spend some time with friends in either your house or their house watching funny movies that do not involve relationships. Play Cards Against Humanity. Do things that make you laugh, all while lounging around with your friends in comfy clothes. Do things that’ll take your mind off your ex. Have a spa night in your bathtub with a face mask and a bath bomb. It’s nice to have a break now and then. Just relax and have fun.
Step Four: Go Out.
Going out could mean many different things depending on who you are, but an overall consensus would be that it means do something that makes you happy. Make yourself look amazing no matter where you’re going. Do whatever makes you feel beautiful, whether it’s a bold makeup look and your favorite dress, or no makeup at all and your favorite sweatshirt. All that matters is that you look amazing to yourself. Learn to love yourself so that you can love others. Then, go out and have fun with friends. Girls night out? Sure! Just get out and do something, whether it be going to a party, going to the mall, or even just going for a walk. Do what you feel comfortable with.
Step Five: Let them Go.
If you haven’t already, it’s time to reach inside yourself and understand that it’s time to move on. You can either do this alone or with a very close friend that you trust. Make sure there are no distractions in the room and then just talk it out with yourself or your friend. Write them a letter and rip it up, talk to him or her in your mind and just try to figure out what you’re feeling. Make a list of pros and cons that help you feel indifferent about them. Hatred or love can stick around and fester if you don’t sort it out. Realize that they were just another person with flaws, just like anyone else. If you need to have real closure with the person and you think they’ll be receptive to talking about it, do it with no intention whatsoever of getting back together with them and make it clear that you just want to clear the air. If you feel guilty about anything, apologize for it. It’s time to finish getting rid of those emotions. If you do absolutely need to talk to your ex about it, make sure it doesn’t result in a fight, because this could set you back emotionally. You want to be mature about it and just say goodbye for good (unless you’re staying friends of course.).
Step Six: Live Your Life!
It’s time to get back to your life! Whether you want to start brand new or return to the way you were before you started dating your ex, it’s time to feel balanced and happy again. Get organized, get out there and get started! Maybe start exercising for an outlet of stress, but take it slow. Don’t move into another relationship right away. You’ll need some time to figure out what you need and who you want to be before getting caught up in someone else. And don’t forget to keep those who love you close by, because family isn’t going to break up with you.