Anna Schultz-Girl Sitting On Bed Facing Wall

The Difference Between Being Alone and Being Lonely

I don’t know about anyone else, but the amount of posts on social media this past Valentine’s Day of people complaining about being single and moping over not having a significant other were astronomical. Every other tweet I saw seemed to be about how sad everyone was about being single, and I did in fact roll my eyes at every single one of them.

I wasn’t annoyed because I’m in a happy relationship, and I hate hearing people complain about being single; trust me, I’m about as single as it gets, and that’s OK. I was annoyed because I am sick of the idea that if you aren’t in a romantic relationship you have nobody.

Krista Stucchio

99% of the time people equate being single with being lonely. Just because I’m not dating anyone doesn’t mean I just sit around all day staring at a wall. I’m happy because I don’t consider not having a significant other as having something missing from my life. I have so many friends that love me and care for me in so many ways.

Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you don’t have anyone. I promise you, there are people that care and want to see you succeed and make your life amazing. If you’re unhappy, being in a romantic relationship isn’t going to magically fix that. No one is that special, I promise.

Anna Schultz-Black And White Girl From Behind Anna Schultz / Her Campus

I’ve been lonely before. I’ve dated people purely because I just thought I wanted someone there, and I thought that it would magically fix all my problems. It ended with me not catching feelings and not being able to break up with him because I felt bad and didn’t want to hurt him. That was a far worse outcome than if I had just gotten to the root of my unhappiness in the first place.

If you’re feeling lonely, the chances are there is something else missing from your life, and it’s no one’s responsibility except yours to deal with that and try to see what needs to change within you before you think about unloading your baggage onto someone else. If you’re lonely, you should probably be alone to figure yourself out, and that’s okay.

two friends laughing Savannah Dematteo

At the end of the day, what really matters is the relationship you have with yourself. Yes, I have friends that I spend my time with and that care about me, but I also love the fact that I’m able to sit by myself and know that I truly am happy. I’m able to spend time with myself and know that I’m enough for myself, and that’s such a great feeling.

Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. If you aren’t able to survive on your own, you definitely won’t be able to survive with another person, so you should probably try to figure out where in your life things need to change, so you avoid hurting someone else in the process.