Behind the Couple Photos: A Relationship Advice Blog

So, I know we discuss the doom and gloom on the relationship statuses, but for a change, let’s get real and let’s get positive. As a woman, they always tell us the pitfalls of sex— the STDs, the assaults, and people taking advantage. While it’s extremely necessary to know this, it’s not all there is.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Let’s face it, sex is great. It’s amazing, and there’s no shame in wanting (consensual) sex! But there’s never enough knowledge to know about sex. If you’re needing to spice up your sex life, here’s 5 tips:

The anticipation is killing it

Make 'em wait. Now I know how tempting it is to jump right into it but take it a bit slower. Make the anticipation the number one thing to focus on and by the time you get started, you’ll already be going crazy.

Even if you like it rough, some intimacy is needed  

Rough sex: it’s exciting, dangerous, and everything you need to get through the week. The thought of your significant other going absolute crazy is enough to keep your toes curled. But with even the most intense nights need a little intimacy. Start a little slow or maybe slow down somewhere in the middle to just be acute for a minute. Kiss their foreheads, rub their backs, sweet nothings— just integrate it somehow. While we all love a crazy night, we still appreciate the cute parts of it all.

Change up your tempo

Think about it: going full force right away is not only going to tire you out quicker, but it kind of gets boring after a while. Here’s my advice: change your tempo. Go fast then slow, slow then fast— either way, just keep your partner guessing on what they’re gonna feel next.

Experiment

I know, the kinky side of Tumblr can be scary. But lemme be the first to tell you— it’s so much fun. Now you don’t have to go straight to the whips right away, just try out some smaller stuff. Make Cosmo’s sex life section your bible, just be sure to always have a safe word.

Touch more

Okay, hear me out. I know you’re having sex and there’s already a lot of touch there. But there could be more— utilize your hands more. Trust me, it’ll help.

Reminder: If you don't want to have sex or want to have sex with everyone, there's no shame in that. Never shame someone for what they do with their genitals. Boys aren't the only ones who can enjoy sex.

Being your own person

Photo by Stas Svechnikov on Unsplash

Getting caught up in a relationship is equally the best feeling and the most complicated. You’re feeling like you’re on Cloud 9— all you can think about is them, how you’re together, your future together. But to make two of you together, there’s the two of you individually. Now I’m the first to admit that I lose myself when I get into a relationship, then feel incredibly anxious when I get back to thinking about myself. If you’re reading this, you may be feeling it to or fear it happening. So, here’s some tips:

  • Turn off your phone for 30 minutes to focus on one activity you love. Your relationship will not end over a 30 minute gap.
  • Give yourself at least half a day to do stuff you want to alone.
  • Every week, reflect what you did on your own.

Dating can be hard, but not impossible to balance. Remember while there’s always bad, relationships are primarily a wonderful part of life.

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

Lead Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash