Let me get this straight: Being popular wasn’t and will never be my main goal in life. I am extremely grateful for everyone in my life, and I believe that everyone that I’ve become friends with is in my life for a reason.
But growing up, I was not popular AT ALL. I went to a fairly populated high school. It seemed like there was criteria for you to be considered popular: An athlete, in Student Council/Student Government, had popular older siblings, knew how to do makeup, or you were attractive. Unfortunately, I did not fit any of those criteria, so I was a background character a lot but I was with my best friends all the time, so that didn’t bother me too much.
In the beginning of my college career, I decided to stay close to home and attend the University of Hawai’i at West O’ahu. It is a very small school compared to UH Manoa and mostly consisted of students who lived in the central and west side of Oahu. Due to the small population of the school, and my drive to stay in secluded areas of the campus to study, I did not make that many friends. I can probably count the number of friends who I made between the years of 2015 and 2017 on one hand.
I was able to make more close-knit friends when I transferred to UH Manoa and entered the Education program. I know that it is easier to make genuine connections with people who have similar interests to you, and my friends and I all had the interest to become Elementary school teachers. But alas, that chapter had to close because I changed majors. I am still friends with everyone from my teaching cohort though! (If anyone from cohort 401 reads this, I love and miss you all!)
And now for my current chapter in life. I understand that the job that I have now is a huge reason why I have so many close friends. We all live together, work together, and pretty much bonded because of stress and trauma. I also consider my residents my friends too because they don’t just treat me like their RA. I’m able to hang out with them outside of the dorms and they text me just to talk to me!
However, I don’t think that I would be able to be the same charismatic, “popular” person that I am now without having to learn to be confident and to love myself. I feel as though some of my previous articles that I’ve written can show my journey to becoming who I am now; From getting cheated on and trying to move past that to learning to love myself and embracing the good and the bad things. I also attribute having people like me because of how genuine I’ve become. I do not put energy into things or people who don’t respect me, my time, or my energy.
“I do not put energy into things or people who don’t respect me, my time, or my energy.”
It isn’t easy trying to balance everything from school to work to my social life while also working on my mental health. But having an extensive group of friends helps me with getting through every day. I’m finally able to call myself popular but that’s absolutely because of the way that all of my friends love me.