From the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend and I loved spending time together! We spent almost every single night together and just enjoyed being in each other’s presence, even if we were just doing homework or on our phones. One day, we were trying to figure out when a good time to move in together would be. After talking about our future plans, we decided we were ready to move in together which would also allow us to save money (since we pretty much lived together before but were paying for two places). After living together for over a year and a half, here are things I’ve reflected on and would want future couples to know before moving in together.
No one likes chores, but someone has to do them. When you live alone it’s pretty obvious who’s going to wash the dishes, do the laundry, vacuum, mop, dust, and whatever else needs to be done! But when you’re living with your S.O., it’s not so obvious. Before moving in with one another, be sure to discuss what chores you both feel are necessary and how often they should be done (ex. weekly, monthly). Also, you should discuss who will do what chores. Living with your S.O is way different because when you yell at your sibling for not taking out the garbage, that’s one thing, but if you yell at your boyfriend/girlfriend, it might lead to a bigger fight that can easily be avoided by early communication.
Money comes up way more than you think it would when you live with each other. I would recommend talking about basic financials before moving in together. You don’t want to find out that your S.O is unable to pay their rent on time after moving into your new place. Also, something you might want to discuss is if the rent, utilities, furniture, groceries, etc. will be split evenly.
- Time Away
In 2020, many people spent a lot of time in their homes to quarantine. This means that you’re spending a good amount of the day with your S.O., which sounds amazing but after a while, you may want to be alone at times. Make sure to have some “me time,” like a walk by yourself or reading a book on the porch. Be sure to talk about setting these boundaries prior to moving in together. For example, my boyfriend sometimes wants to play video games and sometimes I want to FaceTime my friends for a few hours. You want to find the perfect balance of spending time together and apart so your relationship can thrive!
- Clothes, Keepsakes, and Junk
As a couple, I guarantee you will accumulate a lot of clothes and miscellaneous items (unless you’re both minimalists). Do you need them all? Is it taking up too much room? I would recommend donating things you really don’t use before you move in together so one person isn’t hogging up all the closet space or drawer space. As a couple, you will also buy things together and you will need space for it. I would recommend donating your items to local charities that need them or places like Goodwill, The American Red Cross, and The Salvation Army.
There might be things your S.O. does that annoy you. Be sure to address those issues prior to moving in with one another so that it does not lead to bottled up emotions and an avoidable argument. Also, you should be able to comfortably discuss problems that occur after you move in together right away so it doesn’t turn into an explosion.
- Things Happen
Some weeks don’t always go as planned and things won’t always be split evenly. For example, sometimes I will have a huge paper to write that week and I am unable to finish my chores. I usually ask my boyfriend if he would be able to do my chores for that week and I will do his next week or vice versa. Usually, this works out and takes a large load off of my shoulders for the week. Be sure you are able to help your S.O. out once in a while and give them some encouragement!
- Saying “I’m Sorry”
Something I’ve discovered living with my S.O. is that you will talk a lot every day, and sometimes you will be wrong. You have to be able to swallow your pride and apologize at times, but also stand your ground if you are right. Communication is key when living with each other and when done right, your relationship will grow!
Although there are many things to keep in mind, be sure to have fun! In the end, you are living with your best friend.