How To Get That Sexy, Tight, Office Bum Ready For Summer

If a soundtrack to the summers of my youth could be encapsulated in prismatic plastic, ready to hit play on a suffocatingly pink Bratz themed CD-ROM player, the sounds of those swelteringly sweaty, long days of June, July, and August would overpower the synchronized boy band songs and suggestively silly R&B and Hip-Hop tunes of the early 2000s.

Track One: The dripping dropping of Spongebob’s eye, sliding off the wooden knock-knock joke, splashing on sticky fingers scraping sidewalk pavement with chalk masterpieces. Track Two: The sprinkling and sloshing of the clicking triggered water gun and exploding water balloon, aimed at our jubilant screeching bodies, digging and pounding over-grown muddy grass. Track Three: The croaking tree frogs hiding underneath breezed bougainvillea rustling, spotted by our curious eyes and impatient approaching, jumping along puddles of afternoon thunderstorm boom remnants. And so on and so forth, the discography of the summers where I leaped through sprinklers on my grandmother’s front yard, scraped a few knees learning how to roller-blade hand-in-hand with my cousin, and played Mermaids and Pirates in over-chlorinated swimming pools would be full of symphonic memories of carefree recklessness and chubby little bronzed legs, endlessly jammed through my mind from behind a desk until the next anxiously-awaited summer concert began.

Now the high-speed streamed downloads of our present-day summer from YouTube to MP3 converters and Soundcloud freebies are a bit less… Enthusiastic. As the employment rate drops, competition for highly-sought out for jobs skyrockets, causing the definition of summer to go through drastic alterations, especially once the paranoia of not making it in “the real world,” sets in for the young and hungry collegiate. Our $1.29 iTunes additions to our “Summer 2K15” playlists are replete with hostile clacking on keys forlornly and begrudgingly inputting busy-work ambiguous data onto Excel worksheets in an office job you only got because your mom knows someone (who knows someone, who has an uncle, who has a third cousin twice removed,) or the slamming shut cash registers after passive aggressive negotiations with the always-right client, completing constant feats of unfathomable willpower for discounted retail price.

The deluxe album features the bonus hit of the steady imprinting of your slovenly body in the family couch, sinking in as the days of summer pass and go, moving only when a bodily function must be addressed or a channel must be changed, regretting ever waiting until the very last minute to intensely research internships and summer programs.

Fear not! Her Campus Haverford is here to save the soundtrack of your summer- and, maybe even the Pandora stations of summers to come- with our featured internship and summer program tales, tips, and tirades to make sure you get the tightest, sexiest, and all-around most fitting and beneficial experience yet (even if its in a cubicle).

The following is one submission from a dear alumna of my Sacred Heart alma mater in Miami, Florida. While she does not go to Haverford, she’s got some insightful statements on her own experience at a small, entrepreneurial company (and, if there’s one thing a Ford knows, its how to simultaneously stand out and blend within small confines).

We’ll be bringing more than just the scholastic success to HC-H these upcoming months, but if you are interested in submitting the scoop on an internship or summer program you are currently- or have been- involved with, please submit to: [email protected]

Now enjoy the following from Helena Hernandez, Class of 2017 at Babson College:

I am currently a rising junior from Caracas, Venezuela. As I entered my time at Babson College, I had thought I would concentrate solely in Finance. However, Babson has allowed me—at times forced me—to expand my horizons, which I am grateful for. The idea of entrepreneurship intrigued me even before I stepped foot on campus. When looking for a summer internship, I wanted to explore this concept more and decided to look for a small, entrepreneurial company. I believe that with a small team, I will be able to gain more hands on experience, which can better prepare me for my post-Babson years. I will be interning at Argopoint, a small legal management consulting firm in Beacon Hill, MA. I am currently on the marketing team, focusing in legal department operations, and will be exploring other areas of the company in the upcoming weeks. I hope to be involved on some of the larger projects at the firm that help Fortune 500 companies make their legal department more efficient using legal metrics and benchmarking.

Here are 5 tips to help you in your small company internship:

1.        Be resourceful: Try and be as independent as possible! Google will be your best friend.

2.        Be ready for the CEO: You never know when he/she will be around, always be on point!

3.        Ask smart questions: go back to number 1, if you can’t find it then ask, but make sure you do a quick search before

4.        Ask for help: Do not be scare if you need help, once you have exhausted your resources ask.

5.        Help your teammates: If you had a question about something, chances are someone else did too! Be nice and share.