Give yourself the love that you so badly want to give to someone else, and watch how your blessings come into alignment.
I recently went through a heartbreak that caused me to have an epiphany: I am subconsciously attracting men that mirror myself.
I wasn’t giving myself the love I deserved, so I attracted people who were emotionally unavailable and didn’t give themselves the self-love they deserved either. I realized I focused so much of my energy on this one person, and I didn’t even take the time to focus my energy on myself. Now, it makes so much sense why people always say, “you can’t love someone until you love yourself”.
It’s in our divine feminine nature to be nurturing and a motherly figure, yet many never learned how to nurture themselves first. Today’s hypersexualized society has forced the notion that having a partner is an important means of validation. How do we refocus our energy and learn how to completely love ourselves?
Self-love means acknowledging and prioritizing your needs before that of others. Which do you do more? Do you set emotional boundaries for the people in your life, or seek to please them? You have to be mindful of the narrative you write for yourself and practice positive thinking. Forgive yourself for every mistake you have made. Let go of the past and live with gratitude.
Self-love is not simple. It’s a journey, and it’s hard to learn how to find love within yourself and not other people when you’re so used to behaving the opposite. By loving yourself unconditionally, you accept all parts of who you are– inner childhood wounds, false perceptions of relationships, trauma, etc. Create new relationships that don’t resemble signs of codependency.
Codependency is normal, and many women subconsciously behave this way in relationships because of past experiences, but it sets you up for failure. I realized that I have consistently been setting myself up to fail in regards to dating. I didn’t love myself the way that I deserved. But at the start of 2020, I decided to completely end the dating cycle I was dealing with. I decided to pour all of my love and energy into myself. I know the person that is meant for me will come when I love myself.
I don’t know if it’s just the process of being a 20-something or if my friends and I just have bad taste, but I’m pretty sure a ton of other women deal with this too. Use 2020 as a time to start fresh. Take advantage of this new decade and dedicate it completely to yourself. Self-love is the move for 2020, okay? HCXO.