As young adults, particularly as young women, we can find ourselves struggling to define who we are and what we stand for. We don’t realize that we have the power to change out perspective at any given moment. We all want to be the strongest, happiest, most successful version of ourselves…but don’t always know how. These are the lifestyle tips I live by in order to be #LivingMyBestLife.
1. 10 minutes, then say “fuck it”
The best thing I’ve ever done is adopt the ten minute rule at the behest of the “pseudo mother” of my girl gang. If a fight with a friend, an issue with a boy, stress over work, or any emotion is causing me stress longer for than ten minutes, then I stop myself from letting my emotions control me and evaluate the situation. I then ask myself one essential question: Is it worth it? If it’s a situation that will affect me in the future and it’s worth the emotions, I decide how and when I am going to approach it. If the situation isn’t going to truly affect me more than a few days from now, then I say “fuck it,” stop letting it bother me and stop letting the emotions control me. Life is too short to focus on negative emotions and energy.
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2. Stop apologizing
Maybe it’s a Southern thing, but I’m the kind of person who will apologize when you bump into me. While I’m still working on breaking the habit, there are many things I have stopped apologizing for. I’ve learned to never apologize for doing what’s best for me. If I say no to going out because I need to work on an assignment, or need some time to rest and recharge, I’m not going to get guilt tripped into going out. I also no longer feel sorry for feeling the emotions that I do. If I am angry or hurt I am not going to apologize and say “sorry for bringing up my concerns, it’s totally fine you made me feel this way.” Own your actions. Own your words. If you don’t, then how can you expect others to respect you?
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3. Focus on solutions rather than the problem
It’s very easy to fall into the trap of blaming others, yourself or even life itself for any and all problems that arise. Sure, sometimes someone is to blame, but focusing on that is only going to create more chaos in the situation. Instead, put your energy into focusing on a solution and any potential good that can come of it. Turn the negative into a positive. One of the most relatable examples is receiving a bad grade on an exam. Instead of feeling like the world is ending, focus on what can be done to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Whether it means joining a study group, communicating with a professor or putting in more hours studying, there are always solutions to any and every problem. Solutions can be hard to see when you allow yourself to harp on the negative, so instead try to see the silver lining.
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4. Have a motto
There’s an old Hebrew saying my grandma shared with me, “This too shall pass.” I think it’s important for everyone to have a saying that you tell yourself when it feels like everything is falling apart. For me, my motto reminds me to power through the low points and enjoy the high points in life. It’s a personal burst of inspiration to keep you on the right path and to help you up when you start to falter.
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5. Define your values
As a wise founding father once said, “If you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?” Throughout the day, I try to check myself to see if I’m staying true to my values. At the end of the day I base my values on how I treated myself and others. Did I do my best to empower other women, be respectful towards others and their feelings and be an overall kind person? Everyone’s values are going to differ, but if you don’t have a sense of ethics it can be easy to feel like you’re just winging your way through life.
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6. Daily, monthly and yearly goals
Hold yourself accountable, cause honey no one else will. You’re responsible for deciding what you want out of the day. You want to meet up with friends, clean your room and get the first part of your assignment done? It’s up to you. If you want to be able to apply to internships for the summer, make it so you’re set up in a position to do so. Keep your long term goals in mind while making your decisions. Sure, it seems like fun in the moment to go out for Thirsty Thursday, but if you have a class the next day is it worth potentially jeopardizing your grade? Dedicate your time to the things you want to make happen. How will every decision you make impact you tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now and so on?
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7. Approach things with confidence
Don’t shy away from being the girl that raises her hand every time a teacher asks a question. Don’t shy away from saying yes if your boss is asking for someone to take charge of a task or project. Don’t shy away from wearing that bold colored lip because you’re afraid of what people will think. Own who you are and the world can follow suit. Even if you are nervous and think you have no idea what you’re doing, never let it show. Half the battle to everything is how you approach it. I you approach it with confidence then so many doors will begin to open. Wake up feeling like you’re going to conquer the day and go from there.
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Be a #GirlBoss and live everyday like the goddess you really are.