As girls, I’m sure you’ve heard about or maybe even used some terms to refer to the number of intimate partners a girl has had. Words like slut, hoe or perhaps prude are often used to characterize a woman and her romantic endeavors, but why? Is it because every girl is either a saint or a sinner? Innocent or crude? All of these or some of these? There is no black or white answer but yet the words have acquired a lasting repertoire in society by demeaning and separating women.
The first extreme is hyper-focused on girls who have had multiple sexual partners, those who society calls sluts and various other names that are synonymous with the term. Girls under this term are seen as promiscuous and unclassy because of their experiences and are oftentimes ridiculed for their choices in comparison to their male counterparts, who are celebrated for the same actions. Regardless if the number is within the single digits or past them, under this term, girls become categorized for functions deemed as “not acceptable” for girls in society and therefore belittled when they ask for decency or for a meaningful romantic relationship. Body count, then, symbolizes her worth among her counterparts— both men and women— and if too many, will hinder the prosperity of her future romances. Love, then, too, seems never achievable because of the women’s “too many” experiences and left for someone to deal with “sloppy seconds.”
Related: Real Talk: Body Count
On the opposite side of the spectrum is the concentration on women who haven’t had any intimate experiences, which society refers to as prudes. Contrary to the prior, women under this term have yet to experience sex but that does not mean they haven’t experienced romance. Under this label, women are taken with a grain of salt romantically, if not completely taken out of the equation and conversation of love. The rhetoric that sex is mandatory to build a successful, lasting relationship has dismissed all these women in society and left them as mere objects that no one wants to handle because of their inexperience. Virginity, subsequently, has become a taboo in a society that raises an eye and begs the question “why?” As if the topic and choice is something with the need to explain.
Related: Your Choice
Neither terminology is efficient or effective in the grand scheme of things. Because think about it, why does someone else’s personal life details matter to you? Does it impact you in any way? And before you judge them for their choice(s), are you any better?
Body count does not hinder one’s character. So please, stop criticizing others because of their choice of what and what not to do with their own body, it’s none of your business! If it doesn’t involve you, it shouldn’t concern you.
Live your best life, collegiettes (in whatever way that means to you).