In the age of Tinder, Bumble and many other dating apps, it’s easy to find someone; but how can we make that person “the one?” The age old question has always been how to fall in love, but the question we fail to consider is how to stay in love. Whether it be by gift giving, spending quality time, showing acts of service, giving physical touch or as simple as giving some words of affirmation, loving has never been dissected so easily to comprehend.
1. Acknowledgement that everyone receives love in different ways
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Love language is as ever changing and complicated as we are as individuals. To say the least, it reflects our deepest personal struggles, strengths and exposes us to how we truly receive and accept love from others. Everyone should know their love language to not only understand themselves more, but to understand that everyone is just as complex as you are! The idea of “loving someone the way you want to be loved” has clouded the way of love for too long by misleading us to believe that everyone feels loved the same way, which is just too simple. (As if love wasn’t already complicated enough!) By knowing this differentiation, we allow ourselves to become the best partner possible for our significant other.
2. Learn how to properly love your partner
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Like mentioned before, not everyone loves and interprets love the same way. To have a healthy, meaningful and lasting relationship, it is so important to know how your partner feels loved by you. For instance, you can shower your significant other with gifts everytime you see them, but if that isn’t their love language it would eventually become overwhelming, or even overbearing, to them over time. Instead, knowing their love language allows the free flow of comfort and support to set in to the relationship.
3. Help your partner love you correctly
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Like every human being, we want to be loved unconditionally. Although this natural feeling sometimes seems impossible to find, by knowing your love language you can actually help your partner love you the way your heart desires. By opening up and allowing your heart to receive this love, your partner is able to love you back in way specifically catered for you. We must recognize that the foundation of love is primarily (simply) made up by knowing your partner well enough to compliment them in areas they need it and you vice versa. So, by knowing each others’ love language, you both equip one another with tools on what love is to you in your relationship. Love is defined in endless ways to everyone, but at least now you will know what that means to you in your relationship.
4. Learn the best ways to be appreciate others (and vice versa)
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The common misconception is that love language is exclusive only to romantic relationships, which isn’t true. Love language can also be easily applied to all relationships you have in life– yes, even in work relationships! All that changes is the degree onto which you express your gratitude, so please, don’t go kissing your co-workers. Nonetheless, love language is transferable to all areas of your life! If your mom’s language is quality time, make sure to dedicate a day just for her to know you love her! Even in friendships, be sure to know your BFF’s love language so you can be the best friend to them possible.
5. Know how to love yourself
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Finally, your love language shows you to love yourself. As a guide to self acceptance and love, your love language can become an exercise you use to fulfill these goals. It is easy to be hard on ourselves with the pressure life puts on us, but don’t forget to celebrate the small victories in life! Sometimes it’s telling yourself ‘you’re doing good’ after a stressful day, other days it could dedicating time to do something you love, or even as simple as buying yourself a milkshake because you earned it, girl! Love is patient and kind, so it’s time we are to ourselves too!