As college quickly comes to a close, it is only fitting for the class of 2018 to bid their goodbyes and offer words of wisdom to the classes that proceed us. The past four years have given us countless failures that have allowed us to go from being confident idiots to equally dumb sages. In that time, we have acquired incalculable knowledge and introspective reflections that demonstrate the wealth of knowledge we’ve gained in direct proportion to the wealth of money we’ve lost in tuition. That being considered, I would like to offer some of the advice I have procured to outline the most important life lessons college has taught me.
1. How to take care of my mental well-being
College is a tricky time. You’re away from the support system you grew up with and are experiencing new challenges you’re unaccustomed to. Fortunately, so is everyone else. College is this beautiful bubble where public crying is acceptable and an existential crisis doesn’t go by the name “existential crisis.” It’s just called another Tuesday. I mean, let’s be honest, Trump’s administration alone is enough to bring out the anxiety in anyone. College teaches us that not only is your mental well-being important, but you’re also not alone in your struggle with it.
2. Following your dreams within reason
College also teaches you to follow your dreams within reason. It’s a lot like when you’re on Instagram and you follow someone really cool and they don’t follow you back so you decide to unfollow them too. You need to have some semblance of an idea whether that dream is worth stalking, following and unfollowing periodically and preoccupying all your time with. Also bear in mind that the cliche, “if you follow your passion, you’ll never work a day in your life” is true in that you won’t work a day in your life. Why, you ask? It’s because they’re probably not hiring.
3. How to relate to your classmates
The person that sits next to you in your Bio-101 class might just be a Scientologist who spends their free time studying murderers, eating their nails and googling erotic flowers…but one thing is for certain. When your professor starts talking about the cumulative final you have next week, that weirdo will become your best friend because in your heart you know they’re in the same boat as you. And that boat is in fact the Titanic.
4. How to fend for yourself
Another lesson to learn in college is how to fend for yourself. If you want to see Darwinian’s survival of the fittest in action just come to a college campus. You’ll see it in its natural habitat at frat parties in the bathroom line and in any given parking lot on campus during the week. Just know that if you’re at a research university…chances are you are being studied and did sign a waiver whether you know it or not.Via dopl3r
5. How to be resourceful
Finally, if you haven’t used the dryer to make a frozen pizza, a straightener as a clothing iron and/or a coffee maker to heat up last week’s queso then you need to return your diploma immediately. College is the time when your bank account is like your soul….completely empty. So empty in fact, that a dementor would just skip you. Your lifestyle should be that of the walking debt. For that reason, college is the time to make questionable decisions for a little extra money. I mean I may not have been the most popular girl in school but I have a career as a foot model…so who’s the real winner here?Via reddit
With this advice, I hope you’re able to navigate college as intended..clumsily albeit within a six year time period. May your journey be fruitful and equally enjoyable as your partake in the struggle that might secretly be the easiest part of your life.