Heartbreak — almost an inevitable in our lives. We love and want to be loved, but maybe so much to the point it seems as if we rush into it. Then we end up dating someone who does not fit our lives, but it becomes too hard to break up or you conform yourself (temporally) to make it work.
Until it crumbles right in your own hands and the blame game begins. Your hopefulness slowly diminishes as getting back up becomes more and more difficult from every fall.
Let’s not forget the hurricane of emotions that erupts inside you with no evacuation plan to follow. So you just sit around and wait for the storm to pass over. Sound familiar? You are not alone.
No one enters a relationship looking for a breakup, but it happens. Discouragement, self-conciseness and sadness are what are left from a nonfunctional relationship. Yet at times we do this to ourselves. So here I write to everyone who’s ever had a broken heart by fault of their own.
Nowadays, showing your affection means having your significant other post a picture on Instagram with an endearing caption. With the scarcity of actual emotions behind today’s norms, we end up craving love and affection even more. With that comes the conformity of settling and selling yourself short on who you want in your life. We date the wrong person (knowingly sometimes) and then we get our heart broken.
Our friends and family we haven’t seen in forever will ask, “How’s school? Any boys?” Somehow conversation always ends up on the topic of relationships because not only is everyone juggling their own lives, but concerned with others people’s lives too.
Oh you don’t have someone do to couple Halloween costumes with or a date for New Year’s Eve/ Valentine’s Day? What are you going to do?
The ideology that being in a relationship has become almost a display case of your life. Almost as if we do not find someone right away we are going against social norms.
The worst part? What we believe the solution is, to put ourselves out there more and do the same thing blindly all over again. Girls start going out for the sole purpose of meeting someone or dress a certain way to attract somebody. Our mentality is that to get out of this phase, I have to find someone else. And guess what? The same thing happens over again like a bad déjà vu scene. Yet we continue to enter this cycle hoping for better results.
This is not the solution; we need to change our mindset. If we continue to do the same thing again, the next time you find a guy (or girl) you will just settle unconsciously, afraid that you will not find someone else. That is our biggest mistake, With that negative mindset you are not doing good for yourself nor will you attract the right person.
The solution?
As cliché as it sounds, but I can attest to this, lay low and do you a little. This does not mean do not go out and enjoy yourself.
By all means, go out, travel, explore, and try new hobbies. But do it for yourself. Pinpoint things you want for yourself and what you want in the people around you, whether it be a significant other or even your friends. Create a list of things you want to improve about yourself, things you want to do and see, things you’ve said you would do but never did. When you take the time to recover and mentally let your desires sink in, you will see things you have done wrong in the past so clearly.
Now you will have the strength to alter your life’s path by making a decision. Do yourself a favor and do not sell yourself short. Deep down you know what you want, but the fear of not being able to attain it has latched on so strong that your willpower to pursue it has shattered. Yet, with every false start to a relationship you are deteriorating yourself bit by bit. We all know our worth so why sell it short? Get back up on your horse, because sometimes the princess has to slay a few dragons to get to her prince.
The bottom line is, your happiness should not be linked to someone else. It should stem from within you. Do not go searching for it in other people. The guys (or girls) in your life should compliment your life, not control it. Relationships can be such a beautiful and inspiring thing, but they can be stressful too.
Make sure that if you’re in a relationship you are in for the right reason and the same goes for him/her. While you can know your own intentions, it’s hard to judge the other side. So do not be afraid to speak your emotions and your desires.
Face the music; because it’s the one life you’ve got and living it with people who compliment your life make it even better.
So are you willing to fight for yourself? The only thing standing in your way is yourself.