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Mental Health

What Does Self Love Really Look Like?

The first weeks of college entail a frenzy of new and exciting things. Being on GCU’s campus means you quickly discover how kind the people are, what Dutch Bros is and why you need it at 10:00 pm every night, and how delicious Chick-fil-a truly is. Amongst all the craziness that comes in the new school year, it is easy to get caught up in comparison – the comparison that starts to creep in when constantly meeting new people. The insecurity that existed in high school seems to be magnetized in a college setting. On campus it seems like every person is kindhearted, beautiful, Jesus-loving, and always doing better at socializing. Every time another girl walks by, you examine them and decide all the traits that make them prettier than you. Beyond that, on-campus living introduces you to living with three other girls likely for the first time. You start to compare your daily routines, body image, and dating life. Your mind plays mean tricks on you. It puts every person on a pedestal but views yourself as the worst version of you. 

Throughout your four years of college, it is easy to give into the lies that you are not doing enough, you are not pretty enough, or that you are just not enough as it is. The idea of self-love that we see promoted by brands and on social media seems like an unattainable goal. Is this truly possible? We want to believe self-love is real because it is exhausting to constantly see such a negative portrayal of you. We tend to think of loving ourselves as something that we have to have completely accomplished, or it is nonexistent. There seems to be no in between.

The start of self love is giving yourself permission to be who you are where you are


Women must learn how to be kind to themselves and the girls around them. We must stop nitpicking people apart in order to compare ourselves. The start of self love is giving yourself permission to be who you are where you are. To allow yourself to show up in the packaging God gave you. Maybe you wish you had more friends or that you looked different. It is okay to take that and sit in it and say, “this is how I feel today but I am choosing to learn to love myself”. Successful marriages are built on the foundation of love. Not a love that is fleeting or based on the decorative surface. Rather a love that chooses. A love that does not like the situation but chooses to love the person anyways. A love that chooses to accept the mess. Self-love must be viewed the same way. It does not happen overnight. It happens over time of allowing yourself to say, “I don’t like this, but I am choosing to learn to love it.” 

Maybe college is not filled with what you expected it to be. Comparison and self-hatred can hinder you from being the person you were created to be. These four beautiful years of life will only last so long. College is filled with so many opportunities that you have not even experienced yet. Do not stop yourself from savoring this time of life. Enjoy it for all it has to offer. Give yourself permission to show up as you are. 

Tatum is currently a Sophomore at GCU studying Graphic Design and Advertising. As a native to Arizona she loves being a part of the Phoenix community. She is passionate about writing, design, friendship, and a really good cup of coffee.
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