I still remember exactly where I was sitting when my mom told me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I felt lost and overwhelmed trying to comprehend the significance of what she had just told me. I mean, truly, it is hard for adults to understand the gravity of a cancer diagnosis, let alone a 13-year-old girl.
If you’re reading this article, it is likely that your parent or someone important in your life has been diagnosed with cancer. I’m so sorry. As someone who has been in your exact situation, I know the questions that are running through your head right now. Will my parent suffer? Will the cancer get worse? Will my parent die? Will my life ever be the same again?
The answer to those questions is even harder to give: I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for you. And that is the toughest pill to swallow. If you are anything like me, family is more important than anything or anyone in the world. I couldn’t imagine a life without my mom by my side.
I am so lucky to say that my mom was able to fight her cancer and come out of it healthy, strong and alive. The road to recovery was not easy and it was certainly not a happy time in my life. However, through this experience, I learned so much about what it means to truly care for someone. I was so used to having my mom care for me that, at first, I did not know what I could possibly do to support her.
No matter what diagnosis your parent or loved one was given, there are so many ways you can support them through this terrible time in life.
Here is the advice I wish I was given when my mom had cancer:
Learn about the diagnosis and inform yourself of all possible scenarios.
Courtesy: Wikipedia
There are many types and stages of cancer ranging from moderately severe to very severe. Informing yourself about the diagnosis your parent was given will allow you to understand what procedures and situations they might be facing.
Find ways to make them feel special and loved by the people they care about.
When my mom was going through treatment, my neighbors and friends got together and did everything they could to make my mom feel loved. They made her homemade meals, created posters with motivational messages and stopped by the house to spend time with her. Having the community rally around your loved one will make him or her feel so special. Even encouraging your friends at school to sign a card for your parent would mean so much.
Do as much as you can to make your life stable and normal.
Even though every aspect of your life might be changing, it is crucial that you try to achieve an element of normalcy. You should still carve out time to go to the gym, to class and spend time with friends. Do not make your entire life revolve around cancer.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself and your mental health.
Courtesy: Southwestern
It is completely normal to have a roller coaster of emotions on a day-to-day basis. You have every right to be sad, angry, confused, happy or upset. Make sure that while you are devoting time to taking care of your parent, you are also taking the time to care for yourself and your well-being. If your cup is empty, you cannot fill up anyone else’s cup.
It is okay to ask for help from other people.
I hate asking for help from others, but this was a time where I truly needed help from my friends and family. Do not feel embarrassed or unworthy if you ask others for help.
Tell your parent you love him or her as often as you can.
With cancer, you never know what the next day might bring. No matter what happens in the end, never let a day go by where you don’t say “I love you.” Let your parent know how much he or she means to you. I promise that they will feel so happy to have your love and support, even if it is just from a verbal affirmation.
No matter what emotions you might be feeling right now, it is important to remember that you never have to deal with this alone. There are many resources on campus you can turn to if you need help processing your parent’s cancer diagnosis:
Stay strong.
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