When I first started exploring meditation and all that it entails, it was 2020. I spent most of my time in 2020 reflecting on the things from my past that used to bring me happiness and anticipating the things in my future that had the potential to bring me happiness. With such a dull and unfamiliar present, I found myself constantly lingering in different periods of my life, rather than choosing to live in the moment. However, during my exploration of meditation, I read in a book the true definition of meditation, and my mindset has shifted ever since.
“Meditation is allowing what is.”
So, as the ball dropped on Jan. 1, 2021, I vowed to myself that I would focus less on “what was” or “what could be” and instead focus on “what is.” And meditation was my vehicle to entering this frame of mind and forming this habit. Every morning, I would allow myself eight minutes alone to meditate where I focused on grounding myself to where I was in that moment, how I was feeling in that moment and what I was thinking at that moment.
Each morning, within those eight minutes, I learned something new about myself and the ways in which I could best take care of myself. The first lesson being:
Your thoughts and feelings have far less control over you than you actually think.
I am one that typically allows stress to get the better of me. I found that before meditating, I was spending far too much time working myself up over things that sorted themselves out in the long run. After I began meditating, I had to stop and consider how much time I actually wasted allowing these negative feelings to cloud my judgment and hinder my ability to be present. In the past, I would allow these stresses to pile up and ultimately lead to a breaking point. However, as I learned to utilize meditation, I found that I could channel these feelings and merely let them go. Far easier said than done, but by allowing eight minutes to remove myself from the stressful situation and gain back a sense of calm, I am better equipped to handle the things that are causing me distress. Truth be told, my outcome has been exponentially better since I learned to approach my problems in a positive manner, rather than allowing my negative thoughts and feelings to control the course of events. However, this mindful way of thinking has done more for me, beyond teaching me to gain control back from my emotions.
The second lesson I have learned is:
Spending mindful time with yourself can help to reform your “sense of self.”
As a woman, particularly a woman during a very progress-hindering time in history, I have grown to lack the confidence I once had. Under the circumstances that 2020 presented, I was not achieving as many of my goals or advancing in my dreams as quickly as I wanted to. I spent far too much time putting myself down rather than lifting myself up during the months in which I needed the most love. Meditation has helped me to realize that I am my most important support system. I am my most vital relationship. And in spending this alone time with myself, I lifted myself back up, regained the confidence that I had once deemed impossible to attain, and I reformed my sense of self. My outlook on the person I am and the abilities I hold shifted. The hold that my thoughts and emotions had on my life shifted. My ability to remain in the present shifted. And thus, my entire mindset shifted, as a result of meditation.
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