Whether you’re in a relationship or happily single, spending time with yourself is so important! With so many events and activities at FSU, it’s so easy to neglect giving yourself that much-needed alone time. I have had so many friends tell me that they dread being alone, but it’s necessary to learn how to enjoy your own company.
Growing up and into yourself means taking the energy and space to learn who you are and who you want to be. My favorite way to do this is through solo dates. I’ve been going on solo dates since I started college, and it has become one of the things I most look forward to in the week. A solo date can be anything such as getting a coffee by yourself, going on a hike, or taking a walk through campus. It’s any time that you are devoting to yourself.
Alone but Not Lonely
I once had a friend tell me that being alone is not the same thing as being lonely, and it has stuck with me ever since. Being lonely suggests that you’re not comfortable by yourself. Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely! Taking the time on these solo dates to be alone helps me be a better friend, daughter, and person. I am able to put care into the relationships I have because I also put care into myself. I can decide what relationships need to be let go and which ones are worth holding on to because I know myself and what I want.
As simple as it sounds, being alone can sound so daunting. Making the effort to go out just to listen to my own thoughts can feel uncomfortable, but it’s so worth it. One of my favorite strategies for solo dates is to go spend time in nature.
Mindfulness in Nature
Mary Oliver, my favorite poet to ever exist, wrote, “For me it was important to be alone; solitude was a prerequisite to being openly and joyfully susceptible and responsive to the world of leaves, light, birdsong, flowers, flowing water.” Going on hikes by myself is my favorite type of solo date. After shooting my brother a quick “Going to a secluded forest, call the police if I don’t call you in an hour” text, I venture off into the woods!
Having this time away from other people really allows me to focus on how I’m feeling and, more importantly, why I’m feeling that way. I cherish these personal moments that remind me how important it is that I take care of myself.
There are so many good hiking trails around the Tallahassee area to explore. It’s easy to pick a day, pack a bag, and go! I always come back with a better understanding of myself.
Even if hiking and nature are not your thing, there are plenty of other solo date ideas out there for you to try out. If the idea of just walking or sitting somewhere doesn’t sound appealing, then I bring something with me, like a book or coloring pages. Just as I would make plans and dates with friends and partners, I make a date with myself.
At times, things can feel so fast-moving. It’s one day after the other, filled with endless things that need to get done. Sometimes, I need to give myself a moment to breathe, admire how far I’ve come, and reflect on myself. I focus on loving myself just as much as I love the people I care about and devote the energy I give them to myself, too. It’s worth it!
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Pinterest!