With Thanksgiving behind us and the holidays just around the corner, it’s easy to forget that while some might be excited for the most wonderful time of the year, it can be the most depressing time for others. To those already dealing with difficulties, the holidays seem to heighten the pain. When you add a global pandemic that makes it tremendously difficult to be among others, an already stressful time of year can become too much.
Holiday depression, just like seasonal depression, exists and is not discussed enough. The holly jolly music and twinkly lights tend to blot out any sign of unhappiness, making those afflicted by depression feel particularly lonely. But you are not alone.
People experience holiday depression for a bunch of different reasons. Some grieve over the loss of a loved one and their first holiday without them. Others have family issues that make the holidays extra stressful and overwhelming. Loneliness and breakups during this time of year when everyone else seems to be falling in love can trigger holiday blues. This year, with holiday traditions having to be altered due to the pandemic, it is more than likely everyone will have to deal with disappointment and melancholy.
A study done by the National Alliance on Mental Health found that 66 percent of those surveyed felt lonely during the holidays. The study also found that those already suffering from mental health issues felt their symptoms worsen around December. The joy and brightness associated with holidays can often feel like a floodlight of everything wrong for those who suffer from holiday depression. In the time of quarantine and isolation, being separated from others can create more intensity around these sad emotions.
The media also continues this idea of the most wonderful time of the year which can isolate those feeling down further. The constant Hallmark movies playing all day showcase an unrealistic version of this time of year and holiday ads perpetuate the notion of materialism bringing bliss. And in our digital age, the internet creates a false reality that everyone is doing fine but you. However, as the statistics show, there are considerably more people feeling the same way you do than the media and social media would lead you to believe.
Personally, I can’t help but roll my eyes seeing the social media posts of everyone having a great start to the holidays. Particularly this year, after spending thanksgiving separated from my immediate family due to COVID, the sense of unease and stress for the holiday to come has already set in. Christmas traditions that aren’t going to happen this year and friends who I won’t be able to see makes it that much harder to focus on the “magic” of this season. Knowing in the past I have felt the sting of loneliness around the holidays despite being surrounded by my family also worries me. The stress of trying to find and buy the perfect gift for everyone has always made my anxiety peak. Despite all of this, I have made it my goal to focus on the present and the things I can control.
If my story isn’t enough and you need more reminders that others are feeling down this time of year, take comfort in knowing that in the underbelly of the Christmas music genre lies sad Christmas music. Joni Mitchell’s “River,” Kacey Musgraves’s “Christmas Makes Me Cry,” Prince’s “Another Lonely Christmas” and Ella Fitzgerald’s “The Secret of Christmas” indicate that a bunch of huge artists have also felt down during this time of year, proving again you aren’t in this alone.
If you find yourself in a more dispirited state of mind this time of year, remember you do not have to suffer alone. Reaching out to a friend, going on a walk and saying no when you are stressed are all great steps to help get back to a healthier mindset. Making a plan to help calm you down can be an easy step to ensure that your holiday depression does not get the best of you. And if things feel a bit too much, reach out to a professional.
If you ever need someone to talk to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
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