Currently, it seems as if showing any kind of emotion after a breakup or anything that takes an emotional toil on someone is unacceptable. You are expected to “Suck it Up” or “Get Over It” but that type of thinking can be counterproductive to the healing process. It can be especially difficult to find any sympathy or empathy after a breakup with a significant other, or someone you were having “fun” with. You have those people that tell you that you can do better and that it was their lost and that you need to get over it, but how? That’s the question when someone has hurt you.
The way to react is to cry to let that frustration out, so much emotion was built into that relationship you had with that person and when that is no longer there it’s hard to reel back to how you were before you were with that person, not impossible, just hard. People now are expected to go and “get over it” to not think about it and that so and so isn’t worth thinking about, but what happens when you hear that song or watch that movie or smell a familiar scent? Are you suppose to suppress those feelings and pretend that you never experienced them? Is not crying the way to ignore that part of your life? What ignoring those feelings does is prevent you from being able to feel that way again. What happens when you meet the next person and they bring along those old feelings by playing that same song? Or by reciting those movie lines?
Do you pretend that you didn’t at one point think those were the most amazing things you ever experienced? No, you need to be able to come to terms with the fact that at one point those things were the best and worst things in your life and by doing that they can provide different memories for you, this time instead of something romantic, those movies lines can become an inside joke, or that smell can bring different types of memories instead of memories of embarrassment.
Looking at your phone waiting for that certain text isn’t a crime either, you still believe that there is something there and that’s okay, you invested time and energy and it’s expected to believe that they must be feeling the same way, but sometimes it’s better to set your pride aside and text first, or call.
By doing that you are allowing those unanswered questions to be answered, you have put yourself out there for an opportunity to get closure for yourself. Sometimes you get answers that hurt and when that happens its best that you cry it out, don’t get mad at the world, don’t start thinking that people can’t be trusted or that you’re not worth the time. Sometimes the wrong people meet at the right time and vice versa.
Even if you’re not a crier, it’s okay to feel sad. Yes sad, it’s okay to feel that way toward yourself, we hear that being sad is weak and that there’s someone out there who has bigger reasons to cry. That is true, but are they you?
Everyone has the right to hurt and feel sad for themselves, crying doesn’t take away anything away from you (maybe your ability to breath if you cry hard). Don’t be ashamed to grab that tissue box curl into your car seat, bed, couch, the embrace of a true friend and just cry.