Birthdays. The date someone was born. A day you celebrate. A day you yearn for. But a day that changes a little every year.
When I was younger, my birthday couldn’t come quick enough, the countdown to getting another year older, a day surrounded by family, maybe even a party, and presents waiting. The idea alone would be the thing stopping me from falling asleep the night before, and it was also the very thing that woke me up bright and early in the morning on the day to go and wake everyone else up.
Birthdays had an air of magic to them, but as you grow, like most things, that sense of magic disappears.
Adulthood takes over. Whether that’s work or school, birthdays get pushed to the back and are almost forgotten about. Now, instead of having a day where you walk around in a birthday tiara to stand out, you blend in; your daily life consumes you. That sense of anticipation is long gone.
As we grow up, so does the distance from our loved ones. The people who once surrounded us aren’t there anymore. People change over time, and that takes a bit of time to understand. No matter how appealing it may be, time cannot stay still. Instead of being surrounded by the familiarity of loved ones, a thought of change overpowers it all.
Birthdays become more of a reflection, the things and people we have lost, how times have changed, but they also bring in self-doubt. Am I doing enough? Should I not be further ahead for my age? These negative connotations take over and put a grey cloud over a once rainbow-filled day.
But birthdays don’t have to stay like that; the magic can still come back, it just might not be in the same form as it used to be. Instead, spend time with the people in your life now, make yourself a new family with the people you have picked. Spend some time on your own, maybe even make a cake. Reach out to the ones you miss, because very rarely is that feeling as one-sided as you make yourself believe.
If there is any day to leave self-doubt at the door, it’s on your birthday.
It is important to remember that it’s okay that change has happened, it’s okay to be upset and angry, and you don’t have to just be happy all day. Emotions are important, and it’s even more important that we take care of ourselves. So whenever your next birthday is, take the time and do something for yourself and regain that magic. Happy Birthday.